Bad Dates

I can't tell you how glad I am to have been out of the dating scene for the past nine years. A Chicago song I recently heard playing in a department store transported me immediately to the 1990s, a decade full of dates that I can only describe as . . . really bad.

1. One of the first of these took place my jr. year in high school, when I visited a friend who was a freshman at Liberty University. We were going on a double date with two college guys (could it get any better than that?). The date went remarkably well, until I found out that both guys had asked my friend out for the same night, and I was the "consolation prize" for the loser.

2. My senior year of hs I was invited to Grace's homecoming. Good thing my escort & I weren't "a thing" at the time, since he spent the entire evening flirting with his best friend's date. (They're now married.)

3. Early in high school I spent the day at King's Island with a guy who told me as he took me home that my younger sister was much more beautiful than me. (I believe his exact words were, "She buries you.") Wow - if that doesn't melt a girl's heart . . .

4. Then there was the guy I met one summer during the college years, who seemed promising until he told me he'd pretty much asked my dad for my hand in marriage - after 2 dates. (I always thought you'd want to find out little details about a person, like their middle name, whether or not they want children, what their plans are for the future - BEFORE you ask to marry them. But maybe that's just me.)

5. I'll never forget going out with a guy in high school who actually asked me where my mother did her grocery shopping. (I sometimes wonder: was this due to an abyssmal lack of things to talk about, or did the answer actually matter to him??)

6. I still laugh when I think about the guy in hs who, trying to be funny in spite of his extreme nervousness, asked me with a straight face, "Is that your head or did your neck throw up?"

7. This is no joke. I dated a guy for quite a while in college who loved nothing more than taking me down to the lake at night and singing "When You Are a Soldier" (an old Steven Curtis Chapman song). It may have been a little more palatable if he'd been able to sing.

8. My freshman year in high school I was in a "relationship" with a senior that lasted all of one month. It ended the second he told me his big plan for the future was to become a Taco Bell manager and have me work for him.

9. But the one that takes the cake was a blind date the summer between my jr. & sr. years of college. The guy probably would have been a lot more fun if he hadn't spent the entire evening telling me all the different illegal activities he'd taken part in. He was pretty disappointed when my list wasn't nearly as long. (I guess my one speeding ticket didn't sound all that impressive.)

I sat down to write this with 2 or 3 bad dates in mind, and as I write, more keep popping up. You're probably wondering how I ever managed to actually get married. But I was lucky enough to meet Danny, who has as many, if not more, dating horror stories as I do! What can I say - we were meant for each other.