Better With Age

Well, here I am - up to my eyeballs in laundry and the house is trashed from top to bottom. In a rare moment of reckless abandon, I'm indulging in something I love - writing - while throwing Everything Else to the wind. What a rush. (I know, I need to get out more)

I've been thinking quite a bit lately about aging. Maybe it's because of the silver-gray hair I occasionally pluck from my head. Or maybe it's the tiny crow's feet that have begun to accompany every smile. The fact is, no matter how young I look or feel, I am slowly, steadily growing older, as is every other human being on earth. And I'm not quite sure how I feel about this.

On the one hand, I'm in the prime of my life: old enough to be taken (somewhat) seriously, but not yet considered "old" - by most. On the other hand, I was 20 about one minute ago, and now, in just 8 short years, I will be 40! God has allowed me to experience so much already: college life, cross-country travels, 3 months overseas, having sex (Don't even pretend you've never prayed for Christ's return to be delayed until you got to experience that!), being married, giving birth, parenting. I don't think I dread dying as much as I dread growing old.

Why is that????

Perhaps it's because youth is so celebrated in our society and I'm terrified that the time is fast-approaching when I will be considered outdated and irrelevant. Or perhaps it's my own lack of preparedness. Every birthday kind of "sneaks up" on me and I'm rarely at a point where I feel ready to be that age.

What if - and this is purely conjecture - what if I began now to think about the kind of person I desire to be at age 50? What if I embraced the thought of growing older, because with age comes wisdom, maturity (hopefully!), the opportunity to invest in younger women, and a more intimate walk with my Savior? What if I give less attention to things that truly don't matter in the long run, and focus more on what's eternal?

I wish I had thought about this at age 20. I wish that, in addition to planning out how my imaginary wedding would play out and what kind of family I wanted to have and the career I would be pursuing, I had also planned toward the kind of person I would be - regardless of how my circumstances unfolded.

Not that I'm looking forward to the litany of health issues that often plagues the elderly, or the gradual deterioration of my physical body. But I do look with anticipation toward becoming wiser and more like Christ - and that much closer to going home. "Wisdom is with aged men, With long life is understanding" (Job 12:12). What I wouldn't give sometimes for a little more understanding!

I read about Sarah, Anna and Timothy's grandmother in Scripture - how God used them in their old age. And I think about the older people who have had a much greater influence on my life than they will ever know: people who have prayed and encouraged me and offered godly wisdom through tumultuous times of my life. The fact is, I wouldn't have made it this far without the counsel of those older, and far wiser, than myself.

I hope this doesn't sound too morbid. I guess what I'm saying is that instead of fighting or denying the aging process, I want to run the WHOLE race so as to bring glory to God - whether I'm 32 or 62. And I want to start thinking about the kind of person, the kind of disciple, I want to be when I reach middle age and then the "sunset years."