I've had to laugh lately as I've begun to notice a progression in parenting practices from the first child to the third. The following may be a bit stereotypical and/or exaggerated, but most of these are taken from my own experience, having begun raising three kids and being a firstborn child myself . . .
Child #1 - Dropped binky is thouroughly washed off and sterilized - several times.
Child #2 - Dropped binky is rinsed off and put back into mouth
Child #3 - Dropped binky is put back into mouth after large dirt particles may or may not have been flicked off
Child #1 - Swooped up at the first whimper
Child #2 - Picked up after crying for several minutes
Child #3 - "There's a baby crying?"
Child #1 - Free-range meat, organic tofu burgers, made-from-scratch whole-grain cereal, a truckload of fruits and veggies
Child #2 - Turkey dogs, some fruits and veggies (mostly banana), all-natural cereal bars
Child #3 - Anything edible that isn't too far expired
Child #1 - Baby book meticulously filled out through the first five years
Child #2 - Baby book sporadically filled out through the first year
Child #3 - Should we have gotten a baby book?
Child #1 - Picture taken each month, on the same day, at the same time, in the same pose
Child #2 - Picture taken 8 out of the first 12 months
Child #3 - All 4 pictures taken during the first year are on an older sibling's camera
Child #1 - Rigorously and consistently disciplined for every infraction
Child #2 - Able to manipulate way out of some punishments
Child #3 - Gets away with murder
Child #1 - Brand new: Gap, Old Navy, Gymboree
Child #2 - Used: Gap, Old Navy, Gymboree
Child #3 - Garage sale leftovers
Child #1 - Naptime at exactly 9:30am, 1:00pm daily
Child #2 - Naptime sometime in the morning and another sometime in the afternoon on most days
Child #3 - Brief snatches of a nap in the car while running errands
Child #1 - Read to at least 20 minutes a day
Child #2 - Read to when Child #1 wants to be read to
Child #3 - Occasionally overhears book being read to Child #1 & #2
Child #1 - We have all the answers
Child #2 - We have some of the answers
Child #3 - We don't even know the right questions to ask!
I can't think of any more at the moment. But I know what you're thinking right now is, it's a good thing we only have THREE . . .
13 comments:
Charity...this is great!
We only had two (almost 7 years apart) and I can still relate.
I'm sure the LORD gave us flexible toes so that the *plug* (binky) could be picked up from the floor; I am also sure not very many germs were spread by cleaning it off in my mouth before reinserting it in a crying baby, right? After all we did share the same blood for 9 months. Germs serve to build up resistance to other germs...I'm sure of it!!!
Anna - our Dr. actually told us that it's better for kids to be exposed to germs early so they can build up an immunity to them. So we're actually doing Karis a favor!
So true! Here's one you forgot (I did 4 for us): #1 - Gets bathed, lotioned and powdered before bed each and every night
#2 - Gets bath every other night...occasionally lotioned when dry.
#3 - Gets bath once a week, usually with a sibling.
#4 - Sponge off when food encrusted
:)
I think I'm in trouble! except for the nap one, I'm already at the 3rd child one with my first! I feel sorry for this next one.
Hannah
Tarah & Hannah - Thanks for giving me a good laugh!! The bath thing is hilarious - I don't think there's been a time, since Karis "graduated" from her baby bathtub, that she's had the luxury of a bath to herself. At least the youngest child has the benefit of attention from older sibs . . . !
I am totally at the same place as Hannah! And now, I'm a little concerned that any future children of ours may become feral...
Child #1 was never left at church
Child #2 was almost left at church but we noticed it before getting in the car.
Child #3 was left at church and we noticed it after getting in the car.
Child #4 was left at church and we noticed it when we sat down for dinner at home.
Great, Charity! Ah, the joys of being a first-born, huh? But of course we're the ones who get to blaze the trail for the younger ones. Not that I mind making things easier for those who follow.
At our house, that translated into that no listening to contemporary radio stations (in case the Beatles came on), no skirts above the knee (boys might, you know, think things) no lipstick (boys might notice my lips) and no joining the high school band (makes me wonder what MY PARENTS did when THEY were in the band???)and absolutely no attending high school dances. By the time child #5 is a teenager the neighbors call to ask for his stereo to be turned down (his rock music blasted over to their place), no worries about him wearing skirts or makeup (far as we know) and he was in the high school marching band - a swing band (parents went to see half-time shows of course). OH, and best of all, we all DANCED at his wedding. Gotta love it.
They say that first-borns are most likely to go to therapy as adults...wonder why?! (smile) Ah, the joys of blazing a trail, helping parents learn to parent! =) EE
Welcome to my world, Karis. You and I are going to be buddies! Hopefully you will cope better than I did!
Aunt Sarah
Holy cow, I'm not a parent but this was quality jolity.
I also understand that the caliber of gifts/attendance for baby showers takes a nosedive with each subsequent kid. I have an aunt who complained that no one made much of a fuss over her latest baby (#6):
"It would have been nice to get SOMEthing! Even a gift card to Target!"
Yeah, yeah, Aunt Suzette, you're lucky we didn't get Uncle Joe a coupon toward a vasectomy! At this point, your babies are raising each other! Come on!
oh charity you make me laugh
Thanks for the comments, everyone! If I ever write a book on birth order, I'm using all of this stuff. (and I can give myself all the credit, since it's all on my blog - haha)
So...what have you learned from all this that can help your first born. I too am a first born, as you know! Maybe when they are adults your final line will read..Ah, I hope Rachel can forgive me! This is why we grandparents say, "If we would have known how much fun grandkids were, we'd have had them first!"
Mom
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