Maybe Someday I'll Laugh About It

. . .and the craziness continues . . .

I'd been looking forward to this morning all weekend. A friend, who I've gotten to know through a Tuesday morning Bible Study this fall, recently began attending our church. Having given birth to her first child about 2 months ago, and having left the denomination she was previously a part of, she was in dire need of a new wardrobe - and fast. So another friend, Jessi, and I planned to take her to Kohl's this morning to help her pick out some basic items. The PLAN was to leave from our house at 9:30AM.

We had to drive separately, due to "Dora" (our Explorer) being filled with munchkins, and Jessi bringing her two adorable little boys, ages 2 and 11 months. They headed out to the van to wait for me, and the fun began.

As I attempted to scrunch three little bodies into their coats, I noticed a horrific smell - and knew right away it had to be Zekers. Well, I thought, better here than at the store. After all, it would have been really strange to actually leave the house and have no one poop as we headed out the door.

As I began to dispose of the offending diaper, I noticed the trash can was extremely full, and decided to just quickly take the bag out to the dumpster so the house wouldn't smell like trash upon our return home. Of the hundreds of times I've taken out the trash, I have never actually gotten into a fight with the trash bag like I did this morning. All my pulling and tugging and yanking, and even threatening, did no good. (Rachel did come into the kitchen, though, and ask, "Mommy, why are you yelling at the trash?") Finally, as I was getting ready to just dump it all, including the trash can, into the dumpster, I gave one last mighty yank - and the bag came loose. Very, very loose. Trash went everywhere. The top of the bag was already in ribbons from my previous efforts, which didn't help.

Now, a little trash isn't so difficult to pick up; however, I'd forgotten about the glass dish that broke last night, the fragments of which were now all over the kitchen floor once again. Of course, at that very moment, Zekers and Rachel both came running in to see what the noise had been and tramped through it, luckily with their shoes on. I got them herded out finally and cleaned up the mess. It was about this time that I realized I hadn't heard from Kari Bou in a while. That's NEVER a good thing.

I ran all over the house, yelling her name, to no avail. I checked the bedrooms and even the basement. Nothing. I remember thinking to myself, How on earth do you lose a child in a 1,000 square foot house? The one room I didn't check was the bathroom; I had closed the door 15 minutes ago so she wouldn't go in. Which is why it makes perfect sense that's where she was! She apparently wandered in before I closed the door, and was having the time of her little life. I found her in the sink, of course, "brushing her teeth", with my brush, hair dryer, makeup and other various feminine products covering the floor and stuck to her clothes.

By the time I got her cleaned up, Rach & Zekers had, of course, removed both their coats and their shoes. Suffice it to say, this was not one of the more sanctified moments in our house.

I'll spare you the details of our time at Kohl's. It was pretty much what you'd expect from five kids under the age of five. As long as we kept their little mouths stuffed with a constant stream of crackers, raisins, and peanut butter cookies, everything was mostly tolerable. (As we left, we discovered a cookie stuck to Zeke's rear. Why eat a cookie, after all, when you can just sit on it?) But we found some really cute outfits for our friend, so at least the morning was productive.

By the time we finished eating lunch at Fazoli's Jessi and I had pretty much decided to send ALL the kids to boarding school. And I was feeling really guilty about all the trees that had to die just to supply us and our messy offspring with napkins for one meal. We were completely exhausted, and it was only 1:30.

Of course, the kids were all out cold about five minutes into the drive home. And Rachel woke up the second we got home, so I spent most of the afternoon making cookies and playing "Hi-Ho Cherry-O." (which she always wins)

My newest project is figuring out a way to survive Mondays. . .