I say yes. Danny says no.
This "loving disagreement" began when he began coaching Rachel's soccer team (5 & 6-year-olds) on Tuesdays and Saturdays. We learned after the second game that since the goal is to encourage learning and having fun - not just competition - no one keeps score. No one, that is, except my dear husband, who, although he never mentions the score, can tell you just about all of Rachel's team stats for the season. He believes that it's important to teach kids how to lose well, and how to win well, and without the competition factor, there's not much point. I think that at this age, kids can have fun and improve without keeping track of "winners" and "losers." It's excitement enough for them just to be able to kick the ball into the goal. Also, this keeps overly competitive parents from screaming at their kids from the sidelines!
Of course, this only applies up to a certain age. If they played by these rules in the NFL, I don't think it would go over too well.
Anyway, it's been a great experience for all of us. Rachel has really improved and become a little more aggressive (sometimes). It's good exercise for her and a chance to do something with her Daddy. Danny has learned a LOT about working with 5- and 6-year-olds! Zekers has had fun playing at the playground near the field (he makes a beeline for it as soon as we arrive at each game), and Kari Bou and I have enjoyed watching the games and talking with other kids and parents. Malachi has enjoyed darting out onto the playing field every chance he gets, and sucking on used juice boxes he finds lying on the ground.
Now for the farm animals . ..
Two weeks ago we celebrated Mr. Moo's 1st birthday. I made him a barn cake, with pig and sheep cupcakes. I can't even begin to tell you what a disaster it almost was. I'm very thankful that there's almost nothing huge amounts of icing can't fix!
And in keeping with his personality, he refused to have anything to do with his birthday cake. His grandpa made a special cake just for him; and the only thing he'd do was stick his finger in and make a face. Of course, the very next night, when I offered him some, he dug in with gusto. So I at least got a "cake face" picture, even though it wasn't at his party.
And so ends the first year of Malachi's life, and our first foray into the world of athletics with our kiddos. In the spring, Zekers will be old enough to play, so I'm looking forward to the endless entertainment that's sure to be . . .
24 comments:
okay, i couldn't help but LOL when i saw MR. Danny doing what seemed to be some "groovin" dance move on the field! (i know, they were warming up) but, it still looks like he was breaking out some new moves...and your cake is/was beautiful!
i'm not sure if the question was put out there for the purpose of getting answered or not, but it doesn't matter to me; i'm putting my 2 cents in, anyway. :)i'm not sure i'd go as far as saying there's NO point in playing a game without a winner or loser, but i certainly don't know why you would.
Kids can have fun no matter what they are doing, but it seems to me they learn better and faster when they can see consequences from their decision. i.e. the other team making a goal and gaining points. It's never too early for our kids to learn graceful winning and losing.
"Of course, this only applies up to a certain age." Do you have an age in mind?
lol on the same pic as jessi.
awesome cake! wow
Jessi - now you know why i married him! LOL
Margaret - as for keeping score . . . There is still an occasional parent berating their child for every mistake; but at least this way that kind of thing is kept to a minimum. i do like the idea of de-emphasizing the competition aspect and focusing on having fun. By the time they're 9-10, I think it's probably a good thing to start keeping score and making it more competitive, once they've got the basics down. i do think it's funny that, even though we're not supposed to be keeping score, every kid and parent there knows what it is!
it is possible to keep score AND have fun.
That farm birthday cake and those cupcakes are incredible! WOW! Where did you get the idea for that?
D2 - I agree! :)
Anna - As silly as this sounds, I just googled "pig cupcakes", "sheep cupcakes" and "barn birthday cake" and eventually found some I liked. The cupcakes were really easy to make!
ahhhh...the wonders of modern technology. It's amazing what can be *googled*...perhaps even more amazing that 'google' is now a verb.
And I thought the I was such a COOL MAMA using the old cut out cakes back in the day! Wow, with technology and your talent, you are groovin'
I agree with my SIL and Margaret, dear, on the scoring issue! So are you saying that when you play games at home, you don't keep score either because the kids are too young? Bummer, I wanted to play some OLD MAID or Go Fish or Uncle Wiggley!
mom
First...a man sitting in back of me at one of Rachel's games said "that little curly head girl can really move" I just HAD to tell him that she was my granddaughter!
Second...the reason Malachi didn't eat the cake was because he had eaten TWO huge plates of hot dogs, mac & cheese and fruit before you brought it out. He was really putting it away.
I agree with you.....just let them play for fun. I think the highlight for the kids is the snack!
I agree with you, Charity- Play for fun! That is still how I like to play games- even at my old age =) Rod is the exact opposite though, he loves competition! Sometimes I "accidentally" win while I'm having fun and Rod will demand a rematch again and again until HE wins =)
hmmm...somehow we've reached the conclusion that you can't keep score in a game AND have fun at the same time. too bad you can't all witness game time at the Yost house (or maybe that's not a bad thing). we have a TON of fun and every one of us plays to win. depending on the game, it can get pretty wild. :)
we've been a soccer family for at least 14 years now, and i definitely liked the parents better when the competition wasn't so fierce. there have been many times that i've gotten up and moved to a different section of the bleachers in order to get away from the screaming moms, dads and grandparents around me.
DRIVES ME NUTS!!
so yes, enjoy these "low intensity" years while you have them, even if just for the peace of mind. soon enough it will change, whether you want it to or not.
ok that cake is like wow!!!
and the game thing seems to get the post attention here!!! so here is my bit, taken from like 9 years of childcare experience and whatever else floats around in my brain......
I would agree that competition and scoring can be taken to far, but I have yet to see it applyed at too young of an age. Scoring is your way of knowing how good you are, and when I loose I only want to keep trying harder, not to win, but to better my efforts,and because of how I know I can win and play.......
so thats my piece for the day!!! :-)
just to clarify - because I'm thinking maybe i've been as clear as mud on this - i love good, fun competition as much as anyone else, and look forward to many game times with my own kids, where we DO keep score. I'm not saying fun and competition are mutually exclusive. My point is that, at the age of 5-6, I don't think it's a bad idea to remove the element of intense competition while the kiddos learn the basics of the game. It's really more for the parents than for the kids!
clear as spring water! :) and i agree that intense competition at 6 is a little over-the-top
Wow, amazing cakes! I'm with Danny on this one. I think you should aim for fun rather than intense, but I think removing the score does take the point out of it. Running around on the field, exerting yourself, learning all this stuff just to know it better....I think it's too abstract for a 6 yr old. They should feel the rewarding knowledge that they just added a point to their team, or that enacting learned skills has contributed to the overall result. Concrete and solid. The score is kind of the absolute.
I agree overcompetitive parents are the worst. But, I think it's confusing to have kids playing a game with seemingly no concrete purpose. Imagine how you'd feel if you were six and played a game of Jr. Monopoly only to be told at the end "Noone wins...we were just having fun going around the board". That's no fun!
Now, I might find the age at which one starts these inherently competitive games debatable. :)
perhaps my reaction is simply to the abuse of my mother making me play "the ungame" a few too many times.
it's considered torture in about 14 different countries now.
Wow...you have 17 comments on here! That cake was really amazing! I can just imagine the amount of frosting you had to make! All those colors...bravo, my friend!
Charity, What.a.cake! Simply magnificent. I know my dear mother would have been quite impressed by your stellar efforts. She was known far and wide for her cake decorating and in fact had quite a business going. It started with the doll cake she made for my 5th birthday - a Barbie-type character stuck into a little tiered cake. A neighbor saw that cake and requested a baseball mitt cake for her son's birthday. Things grew from there. Anyway, Mom would love your creativity and probably even take a few notes herself.
Tell us the truth now Charity,how much icing to you enjoy when decorating? ;) Very little, it would seem. Good4you. Eileen
Eileen, I don't even like icing!! I'm more of a "salty" person - I can't stand things that are so sweet. So don't ask me how many potato chips & crackers I ate before the party!!
How many crackers and chips did yo eat before the party?
Ha! Too many. :p
MISSED YOUR INSIGHT TODAY AT THE BETH MOORE STUDY. :}
Every time I look at those cupcakes, Charity, they bring a smile to my face! They are so cute!!!
Hey, my b'day's coming up on the 13th. Can I get some with a sewing theme? ha!
Oh wait, by the time they made it thru the mail...they might not be so appealing....
Anyway, the pigs and sheep make me smile!
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