Adventures in Family Land

When one of Zekers' little friends stopped by to take him sledding last Sunday afternoon, I realized something: We have never taken our kiddos sledding! We've pulled them around on a little purple saucer sled occasionally, but they've never had the downhill experience. What kind of parents are we, anyway?!







So, one day last week when Danny got home from work, I had them all bundled up and we headed out to Memorial Hill - the perfect sledding hill for kids. They lasted about 45 minutes, and we only left when we did because Mr. Moo decided he'd had enough. It was so much fun, though! I've really missed our family bike trips since the weather's gotten colder; so it's nice to have another (FREE) activity the whole family can do together.









The kiddos got another special treat when their cousin Esther spent the weekend with us. The girls all slept in a room together, and Zekers slept in his tent downstairs, so everyone was happy. Saturday we hit Burger King and then the girls, Zekers and Danny hit the slopes again.

Speaking of Burger King . . .

One of my goals for the year was to spend a little less money on groceries. I averaged what we spent last year per week, and determined to spend $25 less per week this year. I got all giddy at the thought of how much cash would become available to us just through food savings. (IKEA, here we come!) For the first three weeks of the month, I furiously clipped coupons and comparison shopped; I planned our menus carefully around what was on sale; I bought in bulk; I went generic on almost everything. I love a good challenge and was fairly certain I could pull it off.

And then they started eating. Around the first of the year, for some reason unknown to anyone but Almighty God, my little birds turned into Tawny Scrawny Lions. They began eating ravenously - all day long. I'm not kidding. They eat a bowl of cooked cereal for breakfast, often followed by 2-3 eggs EACH and/or several bowls of cold cereal. (It's insane the number of eggs we go through in a single day!)They beg for snacks all morning long, consuming crackers, raisins, carrots, pretzels and fruit by the bowlful. They eat a pretty decent lunch (today Karis ate 3 all-beef hot dogs and Malachi ate 4), more snacks after naps on the way to pick Rachel up at the bus stop, and a large dinner. Then, of course, they want more snacks before bed. I try to give them lots of fresh fruit - which is, of course, one of the more expensive things to keep stocked up this time of year.

Also just discovered: Malachi's new favorite food is hummus. That's right, he just couldn't cram it into his mouth fast enough. Since it's a lot less pricey to make than to buy, I guess now I need to start stocking up on tahini and garbonzo beans. I have my wonderful parents to thank for this. They came for dinner on Saturday and brought some with them - and I think Malachi ate more hummus on crackers than the rest of us put together. I guess there are worse things he could be pigging out on.

As a result of all this, I've realized with growing dismay that, barring supernatural intervention, I'll be spending not less, but MORE this month than our average from last year. I guess it's back to the drawing board for me. I'm beginning to realize that we may have reached a new phase in family life: the 20-year "phase" where your kids begin to eat you into the poor house! I know all of you with teenagers are probably having a good laugh at my expense (if you think it's bad NOW . . . ) But even at their young ages, it's becoming clear to me that "groceries" is one category we won't be cutting back on anytime soon.


And now, for your viewing enjoyment: proof of my negligence in housework. No, I have no idea how long it's been since I've swept under the bunk bed - probably since we moved it into the room. On the upside, the kiddos have a whole new batch of toys and puzzle pieces - and dust bunnies - to play with now!

Not for Sissies

Several years ago, someone asked me which element of parenthood, in my opinion, had been the most unexpected. I have to confess, I drew a complete blank. A dozen different things came to mind - all of which had been unexpected at one time, but had since become such a way of life that none of them currently seemed like that big a surprise.

Over the past month, however, one recurring theme has caused me to reconsider this assessment, and to realize there is something that continues to surprise me on a weekly, and even daily, basis. It looks ridiculous to write it out, but here it is anyway: one of the biggest surprises about parenthood is how 1)gross and 2)physically painful it can be! (and I'm not referring here to labor, delivery or breastfeeding)

I was prepared to love my children more than life itself; I expected to be challenged emotionally, mentally, and spiritually by them, especially as they grew older. I knew each addition would significantly alter our family dynamic. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. What I wasn't prepared for was how much time I would spend cleaning up really gross messes, and the number of times I would get beat up by the producers of these messes.

Every day for the past several months - well, pretty much since Malachi was born, I guess - I have spent a large percentage of each day on my hands and knees scrubbing POOP out of the carpet, off the bathtub, out of Malachi's pants, Malachi's legs and yes, even Malachi's neck. I've cleaned PUKE off the floor, the beds, their clothes, my clothes, and Malachi's neck. I continually wipe thick green snot out of crusted nose holes and wipe three bottoms at least twice daily. (I know . . . I've been trying to get Zeke to do his own paperwork for months now, but let's just say he's not very thorough.) I got really depressed yesterday just thinking about all the minutes and hours of my life I've spent during the past six years, just cleaning up bodily fluids.

But now for the "physical pain" aspect, which has pretty much surprised me more than anything. Since Rachel's babyhood, Danny and I have: had fingers shoved up our noses until it brought tears to our eyes; received dozens of bruises from being used as human teethers; been kicked (accidentally) in the shins; tripped I don't know HOW many times over little bodies standing right behind us; had our heads used as drums and our backs used as trampolines; received actual black eyes and fat lips from surprisingly hard heads being flung back in our faces. Danny has had leg hairs pulled out by the handful. And apparently, the loose, wrinkly skin on the battlefield that used to be my stomach is ideal for pulling, pinching, and generally abusing (usually followed by a comment such as, "Wow Mom - your tummy looks like mashed potatoes.").

And then there was yesterday, where we combined all of this into one fun-filled package. I had just cleaned up another blowout - we're talking all the way down the leg - and stood Malachi up beside the tub so I could wipe the last remnants of the mess off his back. He decides it would be great fun to pee on the bathtub, floor, and me. I yell, pick him up, and run him out to the living room to wipe him off again. I re-enter the bathroom, and end up sliding across the floor, out of control, due to his previous incident, which I hadn't had a chance to clean up yet. I end up half-falling into the bathtub with him still in my arms. Fortunately, he isn't hurt, but now my arms and chest are soaked, and so are my legs, which have pretty much mopped up the mess on the floor. I get changed, wash him, brush everyone's hair (his was the last bath), get him out of the bathtub and lay him down to put a fresh diaper on him. At which point he decides to pee all over me once again. It strikes him funny, so he laughs and does it again. I think he likes hearing me yell.

Please don't misunderstand: I LOVE parenting, and am often overwhelmed with gratitude at these gifts that have been entrusted to my care. But I am considering purchasing, and wearing, some full-body armor for the next several years! And somehow, I just have to trust that in the midst of wiping up really gross messes, I am glorifying Christ - IF I do it without grumbling and complaining! And of course the trade-off is all the bear hugs and the "I love you Mom"'s, and ultimately - dream of all dreams and prayer of all prayers - watching them one day surrender their lives to Christ Jesus.

And now . . . I'm being summoned to wipe another bottom.

Operating on Beef Time

This morning was just another typical breakfast for my Beef Man. I was about to get on his case for the 68th time about finishing his cinnamon rolls and eggs, when I realized it might be kind of fun to document his craziness. So, about every 5-10 minutes, I snapped another picture. And here he is, folks - Zekers in action. (This, by the way, is his favorite breakfast of the week, so you can only imagine how he does every other day!)


About 20 minutes into breakfast (the girls have just asked to be excused and deposited their empty plates into the sink) . . .



10 minutes later he begins to notice there is actually food on his plate . . .



5 minutes after shoving an entire roll into his mouth (where it stays for a very long time, until he finally gets around to chewing it)


I'm not kidding - about 2 or 3 minutes later, his plate was completely empty. I think our new word of the year will be FOCUS.

And here's a glimpse of what Mr. Moo has been up to for the past 3 days. He contracted some kind of a fever/congestion thing on Tuesday evening, and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. I haven't gotten much done since Tuesday, but man, oh man, has it been sweet to spend so much "snuggle time" with my baby.

Stress-Reliever?

I read something today that made me laugh - it's from the book Women's Ministry in the Local Church, in which Susan Hunt sites an article in The Psychological Review reporting on the way women react when they are stressed. It struck me as funny that something which can be the cause of large amounts of stress can also help relieve stress.

" . . . Scientists generally believed that when people experience stress, they trigger a hormonal cascade that revs the body to either stand and fight or flee as fast as possible . . . Now the researchers suspect that women have a larger behavioral repertoire than just "fight or flight" . . . it seems that when the hormone oxytocin is released as part of the stress responses in a woman, it buffers the "fight or flight" response and encourages her to tend children and gather with other women instead. When she actually engages in this tending or befriending, studies suggest that more oxytocin is released, which further counters stress and produces a calming effect. This calming response does not occur in men . . . because testosterone - which men produce in high levels when they're under stress - seems to reduce the effects of oxytocin. Estrogen . . . seems to enhance it."

It is kind of incredible to discover yet another of God's provisions. It makes perfect sense that fulfilling my God-given calling as wife and mother is actually beneficial to my mental / emotional health. Every law and task He's laid before us is intended for our benefit - and ultimately His glory.

That said, I somehow think Karis is going to be very unimpressed the next time I throttle her and yell that she is supposed to be relieving my stress . . .