Danny and I celebrated our 12th anniversary last Monday. Sunday evening we took off and stayed in a hotel in Cinci for the night, leaving our kiddos with a very brave (maybe a little crazy?) babysitter.
Monday morning we slept in and then went to the Gap Clearance center, where I spent a VERY productive 3 hours. My right shoulder was actually sore the next day from going through racks of clothing! Before you start feeling too sorry for Danny, though, I should tell you that he spent most of that time out in the car reading - and loved every minute!
We grabbed lunch and headed to the Creation Museum. I won't devote a lot of time or space to reviewing it, except to say that we both LOVED it and plan to return sometime in the future with Rachel and Zekers, If you want to read Danny's review, it's here. My favorite parts were the Noah's ark / flood display, the dinosaur display and the planetarium. Also, the botanical gardens and petting farm were pretty cool. We both loved the way the gospel was woven throughout the entire museum - very informative and surprisingly Christ-exalting.
We ended the day with dinner, and then went home to our kiddos. We were both so grateful for the chance to get away - it provided us with some greatly-needed time to talk and be husband and wife, not just mommy and daddy. I have honestly never had a day go by so quickly.
Danny also surprised me with a very unexpected anniversary gift (in addition to the trip!) - an entire case of my favorite beverage, Tazo iced green tea. The only places I've ever seen it are Starbucks and one gas station about 30 minutes away; and we recently found out that it's being discontinued. Can you imagine? So my knight in shining armor ordered enough to last me for a very long time. How does he manage to get me gifts that are so thoughtful and so funny at the same time?I'm grateful to be married to a man I've shared some of the best and worst moments of my life with, and who, after 12 years, I love and admire more now than ever before - and definitely more than I knew was possible on July 12, 1997!
I know I am so very blessed in every way; sometimes I have a hard time discerning where the line lies between complaining and just being honest. So here's a little bit of what I hope is truly the latter:
I'm really feeling discouraged about our kiddos, and have for some time. The constant bickering and fighting that I expected for maybe the first week or 2 of the summer, has continued throughout the entirety of June and most of July. I hate that they get such pleasure out of one another's pain; I hate the way they talk to each other; and I'm completely stumped as to where to go from here. I guess the really troubling question that keeps plaguing my mind is "What am I doing wrong?" and "Is it reversible?"
I've been praying a lot about this (I tend to pray with clenched teeth, since the days I go before the Lord with all of this, they fight worse than ever!), and He has opened my eyes to the fact that they may just be following behavior they see modeled in ME. Often, I let them get away with delayed obedience, which frustrates me, which causes me to yell, which teaches them (by example) that yelling is an acceptable way to communicate. Yesterday, I began letting them know (by staying calm and taking decisive action!) that they are expected to obey the very first time I ask them to do something; so I know this week is going to be difficult, and involve a lot of vigilance on my part, but I've already begun to see some improvement, especially in Karis.
I guess it's that classic Romans 7 problem at work in my parenting, in addition to every other area of my life: How can I know the right thing to do, and want so badly to do it, and yet fail so miserably? HE must become greater, I must become less . . .
This has all been compounded by my strange health issues of late. The doctor told me 2 weeks ago she has some idea of what it might be, but I need to have blood drawn during an attack to confirm or disprove her theory. As much as I'm not looking forward to it, I just kind of want it to happen so I can get it over with and they can maybe diagnose what's going on. At this point, though, I'm about 10 days overdue for an attack. I've tried everything to induce one, to no avail. Instead, I have about 1-2 days out of every 5 when I feel weak, crampy, lethargic, unmotivated, and generally out of sorts (never thought I'd have PMS this often!) - it's a weird kind of fatigue, where I just want to sleep all day, and the thought of going through the normal tasks of the day is overwhelming. Sometimes I do crash, and can't do a thing until I've slept for at least an hour. Last week, I felt this way, so I went running, thinking it would bring on a full-fledged episode and I could be done with it. But of course, the run did nothing but make me incredibly sore on top of being fatigued. Fortunately, the day after a really bad day is always a really good one, and I am very thankful for that.
I guess that's it for now. I'll keep you posted on the progress of "The Angry Family" . . . .
