The Amazing Race

I woke up at 5:30 this morning, due to uncontrollable butterflies in my stomach! Today is the day I've been "training" for (I use that word very loosely!) for the past couple of months, and although I ran a 5K last summer, it was a much smaller one. With somewhere between 800-900 runners in this morning's race, my only aspiration was to run it at a pace of 9 mins. per mile, which is about the fastest pace I've ever managed to keep up for 3.1 miles.

Of course, not everything went as planned. I had my ipod charged, my playlist all set, with certain songs timed out for each part of the race. I pulled into Welcome Stadium around 8:15 and popped in the ear buds just to make sure everything was working properly . . . . and it wasn't. I couldn't get any volume, no matter what I tried. I started freaking out inside a little - I've never run by myself without music! But, the music thing clearly wasn't happening. I had to move on.

On to the next thing. I went into the stadium and picked up my packet, containing my number and timing chip. After tearing off the bottom portion of my number (which wasn't supposed to be torn off, but looked like it was!), and attaching the chip to my shoe the wrong way, I was about fit to be tied. Fortunately, I found my sister Hannah, and my Dad, who were also running, and things got better after that.

For about the first half mile, I didn't think I was going to make it - I was either going to throw up or my head was going to explode. But after that, I paced myself and thoroughly enjoyed the race, which started on Edwin C Moses Blvd, went alongside the Great Miami River, and ended with a lap around the track at the stadium. The sun was hidden behind clouds most of the time, and there was a nice breeze blowing when we ran next to the river, which helped. The whole thing just felt really good - even the last part! As I entered the stadium, my mom was standing there with Rachel, Zeke & Karis and they were all cheering for me. And just before the finish line I saw Danny and Mr. Moo. It totally made my day and helped me finish with a smile on my face, to see my family there cheering me on. Danny had gotten the kiddos fed and dressed and came down around the time the race began.

The best part is, I was certain I was going to be absolutely humiliated by my time. But I ended up finishing in 25:31, which to some, I know doesn't sound that great, but I was thrilled!!! It was definitely a moment. I would have done a victory dance, but my legs wouldn't cooperate. It turned out, there was something wrong with my timing chip, b/c although I saw what time I came in, it didn't register on the sheets they printed out and put up so you could see your finishing time, and your actual time. (The chip activates when you cross the start line, which takes a little while with that many people, so your actual time is not what shows on the counter when you cross the finish line. I was about 10-15 seconds back)

Afterward, there was a "fun run" for the kiddos - they got to run the length of the infield. Malachi wanted me to hold his hand the whole way, which of course I didn't mind doing. We left and went to Hannah's house for a cookout, where some other family members joined us for the afternoon. Aside from Karis and Esther locking us all out of the house for about an hour, it was a fun day. Now I'm ready to run another 5K!

All in the Family

OK, enough early-morning rantings from me . . . here are a few highlights from the past couple of months:

Karis is my chief peanut butter sandwich maker. She takes her job very seriously.


Zeke has been working on his writing this year - a real struggle for him. But slowly, we're starting to see some improvement. I was so proud of him for writing 12 thank-you notes after his birthday. He wrote one or two each morning until they were all done.


Malachi's eye continues to bother me much more than it bothers him. Due to a strong kick to the eye, his chalazion drained quite a bit this weekend and I thought we had seen the end of it. But it seems to be growing again, so we're currently trying to decide what, if any, course of action to take. Poor guy. As if he needs one more disfiguring thing on his face.


Yet nothing deters him from being a little clown. Not sure where this look came from . . .


One of the kiddos' favorite things to do is to have a picnic lunch. Sometimes we go for a bike ride afterward - Karis rides the extension on the back and helps me pedal, while Moo loafs in a baby seat in front of me. I think they could live outside and be just fine with it.


There is truly nothing more exciting to Karis than ice cream. OK, maybe getting to paint her fingernails. On this particular afternoon, she was treated to both!


Rachel's new look


ice cream and good friends



Karis and I got to accompany Zeke's class on a field trip to the Greenville City Street Department, where we learned all kinds of interesting things and the kiddos got to sit in some pretty cool back hoes and honk some horns.




I'll end with a few choice tidbits from our own little Kari Bou.

Me: Hey, how about we have a picnic lunch today in our yard?
Karis: Are we gonna use the picnic table?
Me: Well, I thought we'd eat on the wooden platform on the swingset.
Karis: Mom, are you SURE it won't break if you try to go up there?


Karis: Was Great- Grandpa Emch 200 years old?
Me: No, Sweetie. He wasn't even 100 years old.
Karis: How old was he?
Me: I think he was 87
Karis: So . . . he was even older than YOU??


Karis: Mom, you looked like a big ol' log when you were pregnant with me.
Me: How do you know if you weren't born yet?
Karis: Mom, I've SEEN the scrapbooks.

Becoming

It's 1:00 am, and I can't sleep. Maybe it's the restless thoughts roaming around inside my head that refuse to be quieted. Maybe it's the strong cup of coffee I drank several hours ago. Either way, it's been a full day . . . and my brain and my body just won't shut down for the night.

As we sat down to eat dinner, I received a phone call. Somehow, although what I heard didn't surprise me, I wasn't prepared for the news, or for the rush of tears that immediately followed. oh, Jesus, why must some people suffer so?

A lot of things have been weighing on me lately. And I realized tonight, as I lay in bed unsuccessfully trying to will myself to sleep, that most of it boils down to . . . feeling desperately inadequate.

I've always taken my job as a mother very seriously, but recently I've begun to feel the weight of it - the significance of this staggering responsibility I have to play a key role in 4 young lives. Modeling, and instructing them in, the ways of Christ; teaching them to love and follow Him when I myself fall so woefully short. I see them picking up on attitudes they see in me - repeating words & phrases they hear from me - and it takes my breath away, the amount of influence I have in each of their lives, for good or for evil. I try to be consistent with discipline, to lavish them with love, to demonstrate joy, but sometimes I'm just . . . tired. You don't get to say, "OK, this week you'll have a substitute Mommy - I'm going on vacation." You don't get a break from it, because even when you're most worn out or discouraged, they're watching and learning from you. oh Jesus, this parenting thing is hard!

I also feel inadequate as a wife - particularly as a pastor's wife. How do I encourage my husband, but also help to sharpen him? I want to be there for him, to always have the perfect words roll off my tongue - the exact words he needs to hear to make everything alright. Instead, so often what rolls out of my mouth are words of self-pity or criticism. And how do you make your home a peaceful haven when he comes in the door after work to find Polly Pocket dolls and Little People scattered all over the living room - not to mention the piles of laundry I haven't gotten to yet? Did the Proverbs 31 woman ever have days like this?

All around me is pain. Broken bodies. Broken marriages. Broken hearts. I feel it sweeping over me like some kind of unstoppable current, and I am powerless to do anything to make any of it better.

But that's just it. I am inadequate. HE is not. Jesus Christ, the all-powerful, unchanging, sovereign Lord of all, is able to do everything I cannot. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)

And even now, in the wee hours of the morning as I sit here trying to make sense of my feverish thoughts, I hear his still small voice: "Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden (beating your brains out trying to do what only I can do) and I will give you rest . . . take my yoke upon you and learn from me . . . for my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

I hate it when my own weakness and helplessness stare me in the face. But I love that my Savior's strength and peace and perfect love reside within me! And if I have to be faced daily with my own inadequacies in order to appreciate His glorious grace in my life, then I am grateful for those inadequacies (or at least am becoming more so).

Jesus, help me to live a life worthy of the calling I have received. My words will fix nothing. But Your Word brings comfort and hope. My efforts are in vain. But Your grace is sufficient. oh, how I love You!

. . . not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord Almighty. (Zechariah 4:6)

. . . And Another One

It finally arrived: the day Rachel has looked forward to for over a year, with breathless anticipation.

We got up early and drove to Kenneth's in Columbus, so Rachel could have 10 inches of hair chopped off and donated to Locks of Love. Ever since a friend from church donated her locks last year, Rach has had her heart set on this. We knew of a hair salon in Columbus that gives free haircuts to anyone wishing to donate their hair, and since my grandma lives in Columbus, and my Aunt Marcia had flown in from France for 2 weeks and is staying with her, and we have long-time friends who live there, we decided to make a day of it - beginning with the haircut.

Waiting . . .


She didn't appear to be the least bit traumatized by having her 2 long ponytails chopped off.


It was looking really cute and curly, but her stylist said it would be easier to make sure everything was even if she straightened it. You'd have thought I'd just told Rach she could have a candy-themed sleepover. She was that excited.


Transformed . . . after about half a dozen different gels and 20 minutes of styling. I've told her not to expect to look like this every day! What I'm still trying to make sense of is how I saved $20 on the haircut, but managed to spend way more than that on a flat iron and several bottles of product that the stylist convinced me we just can't live without. At least the flat iron was 20% off and came with a lifetime warranty!


We spent a lovely lunch/afternoon with Grandma & Aunt Marcia.


Then we spent a lovely dinner / evening with Dave & Johanna & their munchkins. We got to talking about a trip we took with them and 3 other couples in the pre-kids era. Back then, there were 10 of us, and we took a week-long trip to Sedona, AZ. Now, after adding 14 children to the mix, there are 24 of us, and I guarantee that IF we ever take another trip, it will be somewhere local, with playgrounds and fast food. It's amazing how things can change in 8.5 years.

But of course, I wouldn't trade our munchkins for 20 Sedona-like trips. I'm so incredibly thankful for our four kiddos, and for Danny. Today is the perfect reminder of the gift that they are.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!

It's Official

No, we're not having another baby. *grin* But I am officially registered for the Lou Cox Memorial 5K to be held at UD on May 31st. To be perfectly honest, I really don't want anyone to know about it, with the exception of my dad and sis, who talked me into running it "with" them (in this case, "with" = "way behind"). I hate committing to this, because it means getting up earlier every morning and running more than once a week. It means actually disciplining myself and working at something . . . ugh.

So . . . I'm broadcasting this on my blog for accountability, I guess. This is a HUGE, and very competitive 5K, so my aspirations include: 1)finishing and 2)not making a fool of myself. They do NOT include 1)winning the $2,000 cash prize or 2)placing in any category AT ALL. If I know that other people know I am doing this, it will help me to stick with the program! I've run 3 out of the last 4 days, and feel great. Let's hope I can keep this up for another month.

If I can give birth four times, I can do this . . . . right??