Monday, November 27, 2006

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Kari Bou is sweet. Kari Bou is cute. Kari Bou is a destructive force to be reckoned with.

About a week ago, Danny took the older two out to run some errands so I could get some things done around the house. I was getting ready to stick some bread in the oven, when something caught my eye. I turned around to see my little Kari Bou, sitting by the open door of the pantry. She had managed, in the 2 minutes my back was turned, to pull down a box of chicken noodle soup - the kind with the packages of powder and dehydrated noodles & chicken - to chew open one of the packages, and to dump its contents all over the floor and herself. Even more disturbing: she kept scooping up handfuls of the stuff and cramming it into her mouth, and then licking her hands. I guess she really likes chicken noodle soup powder.

But that was nothing compared to her stunt this morning.

Since setting up our Christmas tree, we've had to reprimand her several times for taking / playing with ornaments or pulling on the branches, but I had just breathed an inward sigh of relief, thinking she was actually doing much better than expected. Of course, we had hung the fragile and breakable ornaments toward the top, and left "safer" items near the bottom.

I was trying to get the kids' shoes on so we could leave for WalMart, and had to run out to the garage for about 1 minute to get something from the car. When I came back into the house, I discovered the remains of a glass ornament near the dining room table. It was completely shattered. I swept and cleaned the floor, figuring the culprit had to be Karis, although she was nowhere in sight.

Just then, I noticed some reddish splotches on the floor at the opposite end of the table. Upon closer inspection, I realized it had to be blood, and then noticed more of it on the doorframe, wall, chair and fridge. I ran to the living room, where Kari Bou was playing with a puzzle. Her hands, and the puzzle, were a bloody mess. I later counted about 3-4 small cuts on each hand. It was like when you cut yourself shaving, and the cut refuses to stop bleeding. I couldn't get the blood to stop; meanwhile, she had gotten it on her clothes, my clothes, the sofa, the carpet, and several toys. I kept wiping and cleaning her hands, to no avail. It must not have hurt her, because she didn't even seem to notice anything was different.

I know this sounds ridiculous, but it was the only thing I could think to do under the circumstances. I grabbed the softest mittens I could find and duct taped them to her hands to keep her from pulling them off. I figured that way the blood would be contained at least, and she didn't seem to mind.

So by the time I disinfected everything in sight, stain treated her clothes, changed her diaper (because, of course, she had done her "Mommy is trying to go somewhere so I'm going to poop now" routine in the midst of all this), put new clothes on her and gathered everyone up to leave, it was about 10:00, and I was already exhausted. I'm still trying to figure out how in the world she managed to reach that crazy ornament. When Kari Bou is after something, watch out - she WILL figure out a way to get it!

And the hits just keep on coming . . .

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

And I was just wondering how you visualize her future? And yours with her? You just might have to homeschool her to keep her out of trouble! Or maybe you are saying..."If she stays home I'll go insane!" Give her a big "D" for determination. I visualize for Karis a big success story in the making...if she lives that long!

Mom

PS The photo of her and Grandpa Dan is a-d-o-r-a-b-l-e!

danny2 said...

duct taped mittens also stop children from sucking their thumb, i am told.

i don't know how you deal with all the craziness with your good attitude!

Anonymous said...

Oh dear...do I have to put a tree up this year? I'm scared! Last night, I sent the kids up to brush their teeth while I was taking a phone call. I gradually became aware that I didn't see Leah in my immediate vicinity and that she was being very quiet. Sure enough I headed upstairs to see her sitting covered head to toe in watermelon kids toothpaste, blissfully licking her hands! I continue to be amazed that she has survived her first year with all the mishaps and things she's ingested!

Anonymous said...

Without a doubt this is the funniest, if not the best, blog on the Internet.

Charity said...

BReformed - Wow, thanks for the compliment! (although I can't help but wonder if you're just trying to butter me up for some more pumpkin roll :-)

Anonymous said...

I think you might be on to something about that pumpkin roll... :-) but your blog really is the best thing out there!

I love your new xanga photo - so cute of you both. Hope that Kari is staying out of the noodle soup (lol) and the glass ornaments now. You are toooo funny, Charity - not to mention poor Kari. I can't believe she actually liked that dry mix. Ugh! :-)

Anonymous said...

Hey Charity,
Okay, I might become a loyal follower here too. You bring back the days when the girls were little and into everything. One year when I was taking down the tree I turned to see Hannah had bitten into a glass ornament shaped like an apple. Blood running down her face I whisked her to the urgent care which DID NOT HAVE AN X-RAY MACHINE. Off to Childrens Hospital, and hours later found thankfully that she did not ingest any of the glass.
Love,
Aunt Lisa

Charity said...

Hey, Aunt Lisa - thanks for stopping by! I guess I should never say "It can't get any worse . . . "

Anonymous said...

Charity, we opted for a 4 foot tree this year and put it on an end table. I put just a few ornaments on and Esther can reach almost all of them!! Wouldn't you know it, I found her with about 10 ormaments in her hands the other day? so, now our tree looks pathetic, because all the ornaments are in the 1 foot space at the top. I did leave the glass ornaments completely off, I figured she would find a way to topple the whole tree over to get to them if she wanted to.
I also have a funny story. Kenneth was staying home because he'd had surgery, this was about 3 days after his surgery, so he was still on pain meds. I decided to leave Esther with him for an hour so I could go swimming. I came back and he told me that he had fallen asleep on the couch and woke up to find Eshter sitting on the couch right beside him, reading 2 books, with vaseline up to her elbows and the vaseline container empty!! That was a mess to clean up! It was all over the living room floor, books, clothes, everything!
Hannah