Thursday, June 28, 2007

Method or Madness?

OK, it's been 6 days since that first tentative pee in the potty, and I've decided I really like the method I used this time; however, I have a couple of BUTs to add.

It's called 3 Day Potty Training and is put out by Lora Jensen. You can download her ebook, which gives the details of the process, for $24. If you do this, she is also available 24/7 for online mentoring: questions, concerns, etc. Usually if you email her with a question, she will reply within 24 hours. I haven't been able to personally take advantage of this perk, since the ebook was given to me by a good friend (Thanks, Jessi!).

If you visit the website, you will automatically begin receiving daily emails from Lora Jensen, containing tips on potty training in general. You can request not to receive these if you don't want them.

What I like about this method is that while it requires great patience and involves a lot of "accidents" the first day, it is relatively low stress. I used "Potty Training in Less Than a Day" (Dr. Phil recommends it now) with Rachel, and while it worked pretty well, it stressed me out b/c it involves taking the child from 10 different rooms to the bathroom every time they have an accident, having them pull down their wet pants, sit on the potty, then pull them up again and go on to the next room, where you repeat the process. Rachel hated this and fought me on it the whole time, and Zekers flatly refused to do it. I know some people who swear by this method; I just personally didn't care for it.

The 3-day method requires that you focus exclusively on the child being potty trained for 3 days - no housework, no going online, no messing with other children. The main point is that you need to catch them in the act of peeing/pooping as often as possible, and rush them to the toilet, where they can finish going. This teaches them to identify the sensation and associate it with the potty, not a diaper. The key is consistency, and this basically requires keeping the child by your side every minute of the day. When they have an accident, you react to it and tell them how yucky it is, especially with poop, but you never use punitive words, such as "Bad girl" or "No, no!" It uses a lot of positive reinforcement instead.

Another key is getting rid of all diapers/pull-ups, and going cold-turkey. LJ calls them "crutches" and encourages that they be thrown away. I, being the tightwad that I am, couldn't bring myself to do it; but I did load them all into a box and put them in a far corner of the attic! Even if I wasn't having another baby, I'd at least be able to give them to someone else who needed them, instead of just dumping $35 down the drain.

I found that Day 1 was much more intense than Day 2, and by Day 3, I didn't have to spend nearly as much time focusing on Karis. In fact, it was Sunday, so we just went about our normal Sunday routine and she did pretty well. The first day is the really critical one and after that I felt a lot more free to do things around the house and not have her beside me constantly.

Anyway, the major BUT I have to add is that, having potty trained 3 children now, experience has taught me that no matter what method you use, it will not work perfectly as described. No method actually tells you this - in fact, they all make the claim that your days of cleaning up accidents are over if you perfectly follow their guidelines. WRONG. All 3 of my kids have been the same way: they take steps forward and steps back. The day you gleefully gush to someone that they've gone 2 days without an accident, they will poop in their pants at McDonald's. The 3-day method got us about 90% of the way there in 3 days, and the next three days have been a steady improvement overall. On day 4 I was very close to shredding the ebook and putting her back in diapers, but she did MUCH better on day 5, and today we drove 45 minutes to a park/farm, stayed about 3 hours, and drove back, all without incident.

All this to say, to moms about to plunge into the dreaded potty training process, It is very likely that even after your child "gets it", and seems to be trained, you will have a very bad day or 2, but this doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong!

With Karis, we've been following Lora Jensen's recommendation: we wake her every night before we go to bed and have her go potty, and she usually wakes up dry in the morning. We don't always follow her guideline to not give karis anything to drink 2-3 hours before bed, basically because I'm not going to deny my child a drink if she gets thirsty! So waking her up to pee has been a good solution.

Oh, I'm such a nerd! I can't help myself - I just have to add that although I liked the method, the ebook could use a good editor! OK, I said it.

Sorry for the long, boring post. I hope maybe it will be helpful to someone.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

2 Days of Poo

I've been to the bathroom about 267 times this weekend . ..

Against all logic, I've decided to dive into the potty training process with Kari Bou. I was at Wal-Mart picking up diapers, pull-ups and swimming diapers and I thought to myself, wouldn't it be wonderful not to have to mess with any of this for 4 months? I could get a head start collecting baby diapers instead, and going to the pool would be so much easier. And I have to admit, the prospect of having NO ONE in diapers for the next 4 months (for the first time in nearly 5 years) had me positively drooling. Factoring in Kari Bou's personality (much more type "A" than the other 2), and the fact that she wants nothing more than to be just like her big brother and sister, I was hopeful about the results. The method I'm using recommends 22 months as the best age to potty train, and she'll be 22 months in about a week.

So here we are. I've spent the better part of the last 2 days at home, focusing entirely on Karis, and it's actually been pretty cool getting to spend so much 1-on-1 with her. Danny has been a wonderful help with Rach & Zekers, and with a lot of the housework, too, which has really helped speed up the process. We're making steady progress, going from many many accidents yesterday morning, to only 2 this morning, and none this afternoon. She even remained dry through her nap! I'm using a method that recommends going cold turkey - no pull-ups - and I've geared up for the amount of sheets I'm going to be washing for the next few weeks. (That's about how long it took Zekers to remain consistently dry through the night.)

The big test will be church tomorrow; if she can get through 2 services, and the Sunday evening class, I'll be in a mood to celebrate! If not . . . I guess we'll just keep plugging away.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Carriage Hill

We went to Carriage Hill with my sister Hannah and cousins Esther and Luke. Thought I'd post a few pix to commemorate the event . . .









Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Day in the Life

Nothing is going as planned this morning . . .

Mid-way through washing the breakfast dishes, I hear Zeke crying hysterically. Hurriedly I dry my hands, thinking this can't be good, and rush to the bathroom, to find an upset little boy standing by the toilet, with very, very soiled underwear, shorts, legs, bottom, and hands. He's even managed to spread it onto the toilet seat somehow, although none actually made it into the bowl. I use about 8 wipes to clean up the mess, telling him over and over again how disappointed and sad he's made Mommy. I rinse out his clothes and throw them into the washing machine, then bolt up the stairs to break up a fight between Rachel and Karis and to help Zekers find the one pair of Spiderman undies that will make his life complete.

The phone rings. I answer it as I fish 2 Polly Pocket shoes out of Kari's mouth and motion for Rachel to keep her Pollies on the table where her sister can't get to them. I chat for a few minutes as I finish the dishes, then look over to see that Rach, Zekers and Karis have brought out almost every stuffed animal they own and scattered them around the living room, along with the pieces from about 9 different puzzles, all of Rachel's Polly Pocket things, and some dress-up clothes. Oh well, I think. At least they're keeping themselves harmlessly occupied. I make a couple of calls to schedule various things: an appointment for Rachel's shots so she can enter kindergarten in the fall; a long overdue appointment to get my hair cut; a call to the pharmacist for a refill on prenatals.

Out of the corner of my eye I catch a glimpse of Zekers running for the bathroom, crying, clutching his shorts. Surely this time he has to make it, I think. But no - it's a repeat performance of the scenario from 20 minutes ago. I clean him (and the bathroom) up a second time, and reassure him that Mommy isn't angry (maybe a little frustrated . . ). He's so unsettled by the whole thing he refuses to budge from the toilet for 45 minutes. I realize we're going to have to cancel the errands I had planned for the morning. Meanwhile, Rachel informs me she has to go. What to do? I send her out to the back yard to relieve herself, which she thinks is the coolest thing ever. Karis takes advantage of the now-unlocked screen door and bolts for the street; fortunately I catch her in time. While I try to clear a path through the living room, Karis sits and "talks" with Zekers in the bathroom and tries to peek into the toilet to see what's going on.

When Rachel comes back in, we spend some time working on writing capital letters, since the only letters she knows how to write are the ones that appear in the words Rachel, Wright, Thank you, I love you, Mommy, Daddy. She traces and writes out long lines of A, B, C, D, E, F, G, then gets tired of it and doodles all over the paper. (There are a few things she's inherited from me: really bad penmanship and a tendancy to doodle.) Karis proudly yells, "I draw too!" as she scribbles all over a page from her cat & dog coloring book.

I pull out my guitar and attempt to play through a couple of songs to keep up my hand strength; Karis, however, has other plans. She grabs at the strings and pulls on the strap - she wants to play, too. I finally end up playing "Na na na na na na na" while the 3 of them dance around the living room, and "Twinke, Twinkle" (to put all the dolls to sleep) and hanging up the guitar for the day. So much for the pipe dream of improving what small skill I've managed to muster these past several years.

"Can we eat lunch now, Mommy?" Though I have nothing to show for it, an entire morning has come and gone. I run down to throw the clothes in the dryer, trip over the sleeping bags we set up for their sleepover last weekend that haven't been put away yet, and then divide a pan of split pea soup among 3 bowls and dish out fresh watermelon and strawberries. It takes 10 minutes to round the kids up, position all the little dolls and animals required to "watch them eat" and get Kari Bou to sit still enough to put on a bib. While the girls are eating I help Zekers finish in the bathroom, wash his hands and come to the table. In the midst of this, Karis manages to put all of her watermelon and strawberries into her pea soup and delightedly plays in the concoction, not at all intending to eat any of it. She does request a diaper change, though. Sure enough - the third poopy bottom of the day requires my immediate attention. I finally persuade all 3 of them to finish their lunch by bribing them with My Little Pony and Toy Story 'fruit flavored snacks', which they all love to call 'fruit chews'.

As we finish lunch, a gentle rain starts to fall, enticing us outside. I sit on the porch swing watching Zekers run in circles with his frog umbrella, and Rachel sing and dance with her butterfly umbrella. Karis just runs along behind them, trying to keep up and looking so small and cute in her bare feet and baggy shorts. The rain makes Rachel's hair hang in perfect little ringlets. She smiles at me from her "stage" on the sidewalk and signs I love you. Karis climbs up next to me, grasping her baby doll, and lays her head in my lap. Soon the other 2 put down their umbrellas, go into the house and bring out many, many stuffed animals and dolls. The 50 of us snuggle together in one big heap, the rhythmic creak of the swing blending with the rain's steady cadence.

All the unimportant things are forgotten. The laundry in the dryer. The lunch dishes in the sink. The chaotic mess inside the house. The dozens of scrapbook pages waiting to be created. The unplayed guitar. The unfiled bills. The unreturned phone calls. All of it will still be there in 15 minutes, and will continue to demand my attention for the next 18 years. But this moment cannot be recreated or replaced - reading books together and watching the rain and rocking back and forth in soggy contentment on the porch swing.

Some moments are too special to photograph . . .

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Cowboy Extraordinaire

Zekers couldn't have been more thrilled - he and Rach were invited to go to VBS with some friends all week at their church, and the theme of the week: "Avalanche Ranch." Which meant that he practically got to live in his cowboy gear all week. Does it get any better for a 3-yr-old boy??

I wasn't quite sure how he'd do, since it was his first VBS. The first day, he clung to me and wanted me to stay the whole time. I was tempted, at first, but I have to keep reminding myself not to baby him or he'll never learn to do anything on his own. So I stayed about 15 minutes and then told him gently but firmly that he had 2 choices: He could come home with me, or he could stay at VBS with his friends and his sister, but that Mommy was going home. Thankfully, he chose the second option, and came home totally pumped about Chatter the Chipmunk and Buc the Bronco and a bunch of other characters I can't remember.

Rachel somehow got it in her head that cowgirls only wear overalls, so she wore the same pair of overall shorts for the first four days. After the fourth day she came home, took them off, and announced that she was tired of them and never wanted to wear them again.

The last day of VBS there was a little program at the end, where the kiddos went up by age groups and sang some songs from the week. The pre-schoolers did "Awesome God"; Zekers marched up on stage and immediately turned and watched the screen behind him the entire time (the songs were all on sort of a music video). I'm not kidding - he was glued to the screen! So much for getting a good picture . . .

Their 2 friends came over and spent that night and part of Saturday. They were great Friday night, but Saturday it became clear that our kids were a little sleep-deprived! (They had several very late nights in a row, including Thursday. Danny and I were out on the porch talking until almost 11, when we saw the miniblinds moving and realized the kids had gotten out of bed and were in the living room playing - since about 9:30!)

Overall it was a great week. I got a couple of mornings to myself, which was sooooo nice and allowed me to really clean the house for the first time in . . . well, I'm embarrassed to say! I also got to spend some time with Kari Bou, just the 2 of us, and boy, has it made a difference. She said "I love you, Mommy" for the first time (best thing EVER), and we had a lot of fun just playing around and laughing. It's often hard to remember to just take time to enjoy the munchkins, you know?

To any dads who might be reading: HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Monday, June 11, 2007

And All That Jazz

Friday we drove to Milford, IN for Joel & Diane's wedding. What a fun trip! Danny officiated the wedding, and I supervised the munchkins (and, at times, served as a human pillow). It was so cool seeing 2 people begin a marriage, and knowing it will be centered around Christ. And the kiddos did great. I was the one weeping like a baby through the whole thing! It was a new sensation for me. As I watched the video they'd put together of their "growing up" pictures, I looked down at Zekers sleeping in my arms and besides just relating with the bride and groom, for the first time I was picturing myself 20 years from now as the mother of the bride/groom. The thought that kept going through my head was, "The pictures I take now will someday end up in their wedding videos" and I felt like an absolute fool because I couldn't stop crying (and here I go again!). Sometimes I'm glad we're in the phase of life where time often crawls by at a snail's pace. . . it can't go slow enough, as far as I'm concerned!

Anyway, I'll stop rambling and just put up some pix of the event. (One of these days I'll actually remember to take one of the bride and groom!)

It doesn't get much better than balloons at Bob Evans! (although the kiddos were somewhat traumatized 10 minutes later when Danny opened the rear doors and both balloons flew out)

Karis won the prize for "making the biggest mess with the least amount of food" at the rehearsal dinner (You can sort of see Joel and Diane in the background)

Danny nearly put himself in a coma trying to blow up the "seahorse floatie" but it was well worth the health risk!

Sorry, no pix of Danny in a suit this time - but isn't it sweet?

I apparently underestimated the amount of weight I've gained in the past few months

My favorite thing about being a Mommy

Classic Rachel

Rachel with "Miss Jenny" - a good friend who spent many Wednesday nights with the kids while we were at youth group

Monday, June 04, 2007

Ya Gotta Love it

It feels good to sit quietly at the computer, taking deep cleansing breaths, and thinking over the whirlwind that was our weekend . . .

Friday began with a family trip to the mall to take advantage of some sales (since it's about an hour's drive, I believe we may have saved almost as much as we spent on gas to get there and back!), and ended with our last pre-marital counseling session with the couple Danny will be marrying this Saturday. This is something we've begun doing together as Danny has been asked to do more weddings, and we've both thouroughly enjoyed the process.

Saturday was pretty much devoted to graduation, and graduation parties. It was the hottest, muggiest day we've had so far, and the kids were drenched about 15 minutes into the first party. But the really great thing was . . . a day off from cooking! It's crazy to think that the students in this year's graduating class were entering 8th grade when we first moved here; how time flies. I really don't think the gym could possibly have been more crowded, or more suffocatingly hot, during the ceremony, but I did appreciate the fact that at least I wasn't wearing a suit & tie, or cap & gown!

Sunday I drove with my Dad and Rachel to see Sarah (my sister) and her husband Anthony and their new baby, Addie May. My mom had been there all week and came back home with us. Addie was even more adorable in person than in her pictures; there's just something extra special about nieces and nephews, I think. She spent about an hour sleeping on my chest, and Rachel got to spend quite a bit of time holding and feeding her. I have never seen my little girl light up like she does when she's holding a tiny baby; she's more comfortable with them at 4 than I was at 24!

Since our church service Sunday was in the park (no child care) and Danny preached, Zekers and Kari Bou spent the morning and afternoon with Grandma and Grandpa Wright, and enjoyed a day of sleeping, playing and running through the sprinkler. It was just what they needed after Saturday's craziness. Danny brought them back home and they went to one more graduation party, where I'm told Karis consumed a record number of meatballs.

This morning, I left the kids with a friend and headed to municipal court to pay (literally) for my criminal behavior several weeks ago. I don't believe I have ever seen the inside of a real courtroom before and it was fascinating. The room was packed with criminals like me, and just before 9:00, a whole line of men (and 1 woman) in black-and-white striped prison garb, chained together, was marched to the front. We watched a taped introduction by the judge, heard all about maximum penalties and plea options and such; if the goal was to make us nervous, it sure worked on me!

When your name was called, you walked to the podium by the judge, heard the charges brought against you as well as the maximum penalties for each, and were asked to enter a plea. I was there because I had received 2 tickets - one for speeding and the other for driving with an expired license; of course I pleaded "guilty" to both - I was guilty as sin. The judge was actually pretty nice and very efficient. I received a $25 fine (plus court costs) for the speeding ticket, and no additional fine for the other ticket! When I walked out of there, I realized I was actually shaking - what a crazy experience.

Now for the high point of the day (drumroll, please) . . . We saw unmistakable evidence this afternoon, via ultrasound, that Rach, Zekers and Kari Bou will be getting a little brother in October! I would have been excited either way (especially after being around little Addie yesterday), but I have to say I'm a little relieved. With both girls I've experienced severe pain and numbness in both hands and into my arms for the last half of the pregnancy. Also, I've lost a good deal of hearing while pregnant with each of the girls. With Zekers I had none of the above, so I'm hoping the same will be true this time. So far, so good!

Rach is excited about having a baby brother, especially since she went with us to see the ultrasound this afternoon. Zekers is pretty much cool with whatever, and Kari Bou doesn't seem to grasp the concept that there isn't a baby in every protrusion on the front of me! I had some really fun times with the kiddos today, one of which was all four of us sitting on the porch swing, eating popcicles made from juice. I think it's kind of funny that Rach won't drink juice anymore, but stick it in the freezer for a while and give it to her on a stick and she thinks it's the best thing she's ever tasted! We also got to see a real live rainbow in the evening. And I'll spare you the pictures I took of Zekers in nothing but Spiderman underwear, sunglasses and Mommy's flip-flops . . .