Wednesday, June 03, 2009

More

More tests. More waiting. More wondering. More trusting.

For now, that's what it boils down to. I had an appointment with an allergy / athsma specialist today. They didn't do any actual testing (gotta love insurance hassles!), but I spent quite a while with the doctor and came away feeling like the visit wasn't the total waste of time I thought it was going to be. I went to a lab and had about 6-8 vials of blood drawn for a plethora of tests, including thyroid and auto-immune; I should find out the results in a couple of weeks.

She informed me that there are several different kinds of allergies: your basic itching, watering, sneezing kind of allergy; allergies that are like hives under your skin and cause intense itching / rash / swelling -type symptoms; and systemic allergies, which basically affect multiple body systems. She thinks I have the last 2 kinds. And I know I've always had the first kind - with mold, pollen, dust, etc. So I guess this means . . . I'm a walking allergy!

Speaking of walking, it looks like that's what I'll be doing for a while. My last 3 or 4 attacks have hit immediately after going running, and the last one (last Monday) was pretty severe. The doctor thinks the attacks may be induced by my running, especially since I started running about 8 weeks ago, and the new symptoms (swelling, itching, rashing) started up soon after that. She told me I have to stop running, but had compassion when I explained that I've been planning to run a 5K in 10 days, and said I could run up until then but I need to stop after that. The good news is: I have a regimen of pills I can take the day of the race to ward off an attack and still run the whole thing. Normally, if I run a comfortable distance (2 miles or so), I'm fine, but if I push myself a little harder than normal (3 miles), wham! I'm out of commission for the morning.

The most frustrating thing about all of this, is that, even though running has always been on my top ten list of least favorite activities, I've actually begun to enjoy my early morning runs. I've had more energy all day long; I've begun to get in shape - something that hasn't been the case for a very long time! - and it's helped me to be more disciplined in other areas of my life, like my eating (sometimes!). It just feels GOOD to run and sweat and work hard to achieve a goal. If it wasn't for these "health issues", I'd probably start working on a 10K after this race!

I hate that I have no control over these physical limitations. I hate that I can't just grit my teeth and try harder and make it go away. I hate that God won't get on board with my agenda! Ultimately, I know it has to do with pride, and an unwillingness to surrender. The last few days in particular, He has shown me just how small my own "problems" are compared to so many others, and how much I have to be grateful for - and no reason at all to complain. That doesn't make things any less frustrating, but it has driven me to my knees more often. And that's really what it's about: learning, slowly and painfully, to rely on HIS strength.

Psalm 121
I lift up my eyes to the hills-- where does my help come from? 2 My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. 3 He will not let your foot slip-- he who watches over you will not slumber; 4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. 5 The Lord watches over you-- the Lord is your shade at your right hand; 6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. 7 The Lord will keep you from all harm-- he will watch over your life; 8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

12 comments:

Mindy said...

Oh Charity, God is really got something exciting in store for you and He is just preparing you for it. We are praying that the doctors can determine exactly what is up with your allergies. We love you and your family, m

marcie said...

Thanks for sharing this, Charity. I can relate at this season in my life. In fact, just this morning, I was telling Miah that I hate it that I can't just go out on a good run right now. For once, I am craving that physical activity that was so readily available to me before. It feels confining. Anyway, I will be praying for you- that whatever this is is temporary and that you will get the right medication to balance you out. I think it's GREAT that you are running a 5K! Way to go, Charity! Huh...just remembered we were gonna try to get together earlier this year in Ft. Wayne. So sorry. Maybe this Fall on a Saturday? Surely we can make it happen, eh?
Well, take care.

Anonymous said...

Oh goodness! I just read those exact verses in Psalms this morning and jotted a few of them down to come back to tomorrow morning!! so reassuring and comforting!

I've been praying for you daily, Charity. And for the doctors. Will continue.

Kati said...

That psalm sounds awfully familiar; we must be reading the same Bible. :)

JanAl said...

Oh Charity, I did not know that you were having attacks, after your running. I wonder if has to do with allergies outside, or if the running is too much on your immune system. I will pray for you! I am starting to feel a little guilty for talking you and Kati into running. I have also been enjoying all the benefits from the running, but I completely understand the frustration of physical limitations, and for me, the fear of overdoing it, and causing something worse. I will continue to pray that the doctors will find the exact cause, and the right treatment for you!
Love you!
Endure!!!!!!!

Charity said...

Oh my word, Janal - don't even THINK about blaming yourself for bringing any of us into this! You put the thought in our heads, but we all made our own decision. I can't begin to list all the good things that have come out of it for me, even if my running days are over after the 5K. And if, through all these "attacks", the dr. is able to discover and correct something that's been wrong with me - then I have you to thank! :)

shoemama said...

Charity, well you didn't mention that you passed out after they took 6 vials of blood (which I surely would have done), so that is a good thing!
We're praying that they will find out what is the cause of all this and you can get on with your life.
I sure hope you can continue running - I was going to talk you into doing a marathon with me someday :-) That would be awesome, a sister team.
Good luck on your 5K!!!

Chris said...

Put away the running shoes, buy walking shoes and praise God !!!! It is a small sacrifice for your health.

danny2 said...

why is it that every woman's solution is to buy shoes!

Chris said...

Because we are all "soul" sisters. Some of us even marry real "heels" for husbands. Others marry "straight laced" guys.

Jodi Bradshaw said...

Charity I will continue to be praying for you through this time. Pregnancy comes with limitations but there is an end in sight (and sadly I complain and want to be on my own agenda). I think it would be so hard just to have no answers. I am praying for a light at the end of the tunnel for you and that they might be able to pinpoint the issue.

Charity said...

Thanks, Jodi! The dr. said they only find problem about 30% of the time, but maybe I'll be one of the lucky ones . . . thanks for praying.