New Year Intentions

Although I'm less than 4 days into it, this week has been a rather difficult one, as weeks go. This is mostly because some recent events have forced me to take a good hard look at myself, and in so doing I've been confronted with how far I am from what God has called me to be.

So instead of making a list of worthless "resolutions" which I know I'll never keep, I've chosen just a few things that I want - no, need - to pursue more intentionally than I have the past 12 months.

Study of God's Word
I have plenty of excuses. After all, who can consistently make time for God with three small children running around? The funny thing is, I somehow find ample time for things I truly enjoy: scrapbooking, blogging, practicing guitar (on occasion!), watching Lost (when it actually airs) and 24. Why, then, can't I seem to regularly make time for God?

The fact is, I am only hurting myself. I'm depriving myself of time spent in the presence of my heavenly Father, to whom I owe everything, including my life both present and future. 2 days ago, when the kids were finally in bed napping, it hit me how I miss this time - how I miss HIM, and I put my head in my hands and cried like a baby. Then and there I decided a lot of little things have got to change. I need to start going to bed a little earlier so I can rise a little earlier and start my day with Him. If it doesn't happen first thing in the morning, there's no guarantee it will happen at all.

There will always be excuses. I will never reach a point in life where time suddenly begins to multiply itself and I wonder what I'm going to do with it all! As much as I long to spend time with God, it will never happen unless I discipline myself to take the necessary "small" steps to get there.

Reading
I used to read for pleasure. I read everything I could get my hands on, especially books by CS Lewis, Phillip Yancey, and other favorite authors. But once again, I've let the "I-have-three-children-and-a-husband-in-full-time-ministry" excuse keep me from pursuing this love in recent years. (Good grief, I never realized what a whiner I am!)

I thouroughly enjoyed reading and reviewing this book, because of its convicting content, and this book, because even though I didn't agree with much of it, this forced me to study Scripture in order to discern the truth. Also, critical thinking sharpens the mind. Which is why I'm totally embarrassed that the last time I finished a book was back in July.

Time with friends and family
If I had a dollar for every time I said, in talking with someone, "Sure, we'll get together soon!" I'd be able to purchase the scrapbooking supplies I've been wanting. If I had a dollar for every time I actually took action to make it happen, I might be able to afford one frappucino. Sad testimony to the kind of friend I've been lately.

If you're wondering why I've not mentioned being a better wife and mother, I believe the above list (mostly #1!) will help me work to that end. Being in the Word more cannot but overflow into every area of my life, making me a better disciple, and then a more godly mother, wife, friend, and overall servant of Christ.

I know that I will not have a perfect year in regard to these things, but 1)that's why they're not resolutions, and 2)I will do it in God's strength, not mine. Thank heaven for that!