R-Rated Fairy Tales?

". . . and then we ALL DIED!"

Rachel paused dramatically, waiting for my response to her "dream" from the night before. And I may have given her the horrified reaction she hoped for, had it not been about the 87th such story I've heard from her in the last 2 months. I've been scratching my head over her recent fixation with death, revenge and violence. I've asked myself: What would make a 4-yr-old think about such things? Are we letting her watch too much TV? (She watches about 5 hours per week.) Do the shows/movies she's watching contain violent material? (Maybe, if you consider Veggie Tales, Dora and Arthur to be dark characters with a death wish.) Do her friends talk this way? (Not that I've observed.) What, then, could be the cause for this newfound infatuation with death?

And just before bed the other day, it hit me: I've been questioning the wrong form of media!

Nothing in this world delights the hearts of our little ones more than being read to. As long as you will read to them, they will sit there hanging on every word. (I guess they get it honestly - as a child, my parents quickly caught on that the most effective way to punish me was to ground me from reading. Sick, I know.) It's really not even necessary for us to read to them now, as they have all their favorite books committed to memory. Which brings us to the culprit in Rachel's "death obsession": bedtime fairy tales!

I sheepishly admit that for years I've been duped by beautiful illustrations and cute characters and tradition, and most of all, by the innocence of the words "fairy tales." As I read through some the other day, I was flabbergasted by the content of many of these children's stories. For instance:

Hansel and Gretel
During a famine, a poor woodcutter's wife actually persuades him to leave their 2 children, Hansel and Gretel, deep in the woods so they won't have to feed them anymore. The children find their way back home, and the woodcutter once again takes them into the woods, leaving them to die. They instead stumble upon the cottage of a witch, who takes them captive and tries to fatten up Hansel in order to eat him. They outsmart the witch, pushing her into an oven so that she cooks to death. They return home to their father, who, like any father worth his salt, hasn't had a moment's peace since leaving them to die in the forest. (The stepmother has since died, so everyone lives happily ever after.)

Henny Penny
This delightful story takes the reader on a fun little romp. Henny Penny discovers that "they sky is falling" when an acorn falls on her head, and sets off to tell the king. On her way she picks up the incredibly gullible Cocky Locky, Ducky Lucky, Goosey Loosey, and Turkey Lurkey. The unfortunate group meets up eventually with Foxy Loxy, who tricks them all into entering his cave. Henny Penny gets cold feet at the last minute and runs home, leaving her faithful following to their doom. The end. (OK, the story never goes into detail about their fate, but come on - what chance do 4 hapless fowl have against such a foe? And this inevitably leads to questions such as "What happend to Ducky Lucky in Foxy Loxy's cave, Mommy?" What parent wants to be the bad guy who says, "Well, sweetheart, he ate her for lunch"? Instead, I have to make up some elaborate lie in which they all have a big party together or some such nonsense.)

Snow White
A jealous queen orders a woodsman to take her stepdaughter into the woods and kill her. He's such a nice guy, he can't bring himself to actually kill her, instead just leaving her there to die alone. When the evil queen discovers the girl is still alive and living with 7 cute dwarves, she tries three times to murder the girl, through various deceptions, finally nearly succeeding by giving her a poisoned apple to eat. Of course, it all works out in the end when the prince comes to wake her from her coma with a kiss.

The Three Little Pigs
Three little pigs build houses of straw, wood and brick. A big bad wolf blows down 2 of the 3 houses and immediately gobbles up each terrified occupant. The wolf, stung by multiple failures to eat the third pig, decides to enter his house by climbing down the chimney, saying, "Pig, the time has come to eat you up." The wolf goes down the chimney, falls into a pot of water and is boiled alive. The end.

Then there are stories like Jack and the Beanstalk, where a poor boy steals a bag of gold, a magic harp and a magic hen from a giant (it's ok, because the boy and his mother need the items much more than the mean giant does), but it all works out in the end when Jack kills the giant, who is trying to get his stuff back. Again, this is a good thing, because the giant is mean and ugly, and also a bad poet.

The fact is, I read stuff to my kids that I wouldn't let them watch on TV! I began to wonder, what are these books teaching my little girl? That "stepmother" is a bad word? That forests exist for the convenience of people who want to kill their children? So I did a little research on the origins of fairy tales and discovered that although large numbers of literary fairy tales were written in 17th century France, most of the tales which are still told and retold now are far older in origin . . . Literary fairy tales of great imagination and invention, often quite cruel and gruesome, were being created by the women surrepticiously rebelling against the contraints placed on them by their restrictive society. They were not written for children.

From this, I have concluded that I should win "Mom of the Year" for reading my toddlers books that teach them about the politics of 17th century France!