A Rose By Any Other Name

It occured to me the other day that my kids may have a few issues, most of them revolving around animals.

First of all, a meal at our house which doesn't include a host of critters sitting on the table "watching" Rach & Zekers eat is an extreme rarity. Rachel loves to pile her Polly Pockets and various stuffed animals onto the centerpiece and all around it, insisting that they all find a "comfortable spot." Zekers, on the other hand, drags to the table an armload of little animals from his Little People farm, all of which must be lined up perfectly in front of his place setting with their eyes fixed on him. If just one is cockeyed - well, forget any food entering his mouth until the creature has been properly aligned.

OK, so probably a lot of kids go through this stage of wanting all their "friends" to accompany them to the dinner table. But even odder are the names these poor animals and dolls are forced to live with. Last summer, Rachel received a couple of fashion Barbie dolls from a freind of the family, and promptly named them "Hermie" and "Webster." The previous summer, she proudly named 2 favorite baby dolls "Shrum Shrum" and "Kir Kir". Zekers has 2 favorite cows from his farm; the brown one is named "Snowflake" and the white one is "Pickle Boy." (I am not making any of this up, I promise!) He also has 2 jousting horses; the red one is "Thunder" - a respectable horse name - but the blue one he simply named "Girl." Last but not least, his little blue stuffed elephant sports the name "Cook Elephant." And we are not allowed to refer to them simply as "your blue elephant" or "the white cow". No, it has to be "Zekers, please pick up Cook Elephant," or "I don't think Pickle Boy really likes drinking out of the toilet."

Probably scariest of all, they have named their bunk beds, although Danny and I must take much of the blame for this one. They both like to sleep on the top bunk, so we have them trade off every couple of months. To ease our son's pain at having to transition to the lame bottom bed several weeks ago, we encouraged them to name the beds, thinking this would help. So what names did they come up with? The top bed is now proudly referred to as "Squirt", and the bottom as "Crusty." It actually didn't help all that much to name them, and I now have the added bonus of realizing the names are pretty appropriate. Ew.

I only hope they grow out of this animals-on-the-table, and weird-names phase before they start dating, or they'll find themselves going on a LOT of first dates.