More Bizarreness

And the hits just keep on coming . . .

For some unfathomable reason, the kids have taken to raiding my sock drawer and prancing around fighting the forces of evil in "hand stockings." As a result, my socks can often be found in unexpected locations throughout the house (i.e., the dishwasher). Good thing it's flip-flop weather finally.

But it wasn't until our fateful trip to Wal-Mart yesterday that I finally realized just how many issues we have.

Our normal tradition is to walk into stores holding hands, quacking like ducks (Danny's brainchild). What can I say? It works. Normally, Zekers and Kari Bou ride in the blue seats attached to the cart, but yesterday, Rach & Zekers both wanted to walk, and Kari Bou decided it would be more fun to ride in the basket part of the cart. Since I only needed a couple of items, I thought what could it hurt. Ha!

We were looking for hand cookie cutters to go with a foot cookie cutter I already have, when I looked back to see Rachel, her arms full of silk flowers she'd collected a couple of aisles back. She was convinced her life just wouldn't be complete unless we purshased the whole armful of very ugly flowers. You can guess how that scenario ended: Mom extremely frazzled and oldest daughter crying hot tears of righteous indignation.

Also, I became aware of another way potty training affects our lives: Rachel informed me shortly after all this went down that she had to use the bathroom. "Just hold it until we get to the check-out, Sweetie," was my automatic response. About 15 seconds later, Zekers made a similar statement. The sudden panic and accompanying rush of adrenaline was amazing. I grabbed both Zekers and Rachel, slammed them each down into a blue seat, and flew to the restroom at the rear of the store - it's incredible how fast an out-of-shape woman can move while pushing a large cart full of squirming bodies. With Zekers, I've learned that I have, at most, 30 seconds from the time the words "I have to go potty" leave his mouth, to have him positioned in front of a potty, or I'd better have a change of clothes ready (which, unfortunately, happened to be out in the van).

From there it all went south. A sweet old man came panting up to me with a loaf of bread in his hand - Dutch Country 100% whole wheat - which just happens to be the exact kind I always buy. Turns out it was the exact loaf I had just placed into the cart with Kari Bou about 1 minute earlier. Who knows how far that poor man had to run just to return our bread to us. I looked back a few minutes later to see that our package of buns had been thouroughly mutilated and torn to pieces. Soon a container of yogurt and some cheese shared the same fate as the bread. All I can say is, I have a newfound gratitude for kind-hearted older people who always seem to notice these things and run to the rescue.

As soon as I repositioned Karis into a blue seat, where she couldn't do nearly as much damage (I thought), I turned around to see Zekers running in circles with his hands shoved WAY down into his underwear. No matter how many times I told him that was yucky, he seemed to think it great fun. The really gross part was seeing him sucking his fingers later.

Then came the straw that broke the camel's back. Zekers had brought his craft from children's church with him into the store because he and Rachel both thought it was just the coolest thing ever. I honestly have no idea what it was supposed to be - it was made of the cardboard from a toilet paper roll, covered with stickers, with several brightly-colored streamers attached to one end. Huh. Anyway, Karis proceeded to tear off the streamers and throw the rest of the (whatever it was) out of the cart. So by the time we got to the check-out, everyone was crying, myself includedd!

On the way out, the older 2 refused to hold hands, and in fact, nearly ran out in front of a moving vehicle, so I promised each of them a spanking when we got to the van. As I gave them their swats, scenes flashed through my head in vivid detail: national news coverage of the "abusive Wal-Mart mother" spanking her children right there in front of the parking lot cameras. Agh! When I got them strapped in finally, I turned around to see that our cart had rolled halfway down the parking lot - with my purse still in it.

Well, you get the picture. It took us all a while to recover from that trip. The one redeeming element of our excursion was that the Aunt Millie's outlet actually had dinner rolls, so I bought seven packages of them for around $2.00 - the really large whole wheat ones.























But as much work as having three little ones can be, they are just so darn cute, and such a riot, I can't help laughing at their antics. (The first picture on the right is of Zekers "flexing his muscles.") Just look at those little faces - could they be any more adorable?? We ended up spending a fun afternoon outside - which was exactly what we all needed. Zekers finally wore himself out and fell asleep on the floor at the end of LIFE group later in the evening. And I made 2 important decisions: 1) I'm not going to let the "little" things get me down, and 2) The next time I go to Wal-Mart, it's going to be at a time when I can leave the kids home with Danny!