A Battery-Induced Epiphany

There is almost nothing more frustrating than having all my carefully-laid-out plans blow up in my face. I suppose God knows when I need a good dose of humility, and another reminder that I am not the one in control.

For weeks, the kiddos have been looking forward to Vacation Bible School at the church of some good friends. I put it on the calendar about a month ago, and have been telling them all week when they would ask, "Only a few more days until VBS." For some reason, yesterday morning, I thought to myself, "That's strange. We're supposed to leave for 2 weeks next Wednesday, which means we'd miss the last half of VBS, and I was thinking they'd be going for the whole week." So, I double-checked the calendar and sure enough - it' actually going on this week!

This realization struck about 10 minutes before Rachel was to leave to attend another VBS with another friend. Zekers, of course, flatly refused to go without Rach, so she ended up attending with her other friend while Zekers, Karis, Malachi and I walked to the newly-remodeled library and took in a ventriloquist show.

Although I was completely outraged at myself, I thought at least the kiddos would be able to attend the last 2 days of the first VBS. I also realized that this was my golden opportunity to do some garage saling - much easier with only 2 munchkins in tow. I researched all the area garage sales online, printed out the addresses, and came up with my "shopping strategy", so as to fit them all in the allotted time between dropping off and picking up the kiddos.

This morning, we loaded everything in the van, including all the kiddos and a neighborhood friend, and prepared to take off. I had the entire shebang planned to the minute, and couldn't wait to get started. I turned the key in the ignition and . . . nothing. The van battery had gone utterly, completely dead.

I'll spare you the details and just say that the kiddos and I ended up waiting about 45 minutes for Danny to arrive back from a meeting and rescue us. Thankfully he was able to come and push the van out of the garage for a jump-start. My hero! But I can tell you that those first moments, realizing that my plan was not going to happen, were not some of the more sanctified moments of my life!

I stewed and I fretted. Nothing was going the way it was supposed to. Didn't God know how much work I had put into the morning's itinerary? Didn't He realize this was supposed to be MY morning? Did He care that even as I paced the yard, those Polly Pockets and size 6 dresses and 25-cent hot wheels were probably being snatched up by someone whose van was actually running? And worst of all, that the munchkins were probably going to miss out on their once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see Chatter the Squirrel??

In that moment, God flooded my thoughts with verses from Genesis and Exodus, which I've been working my way through the past couple of weeks. Verses about his sovereignty. Accounts of his perfect timing and absolute power - over the lives of human beings, the earth and sea, and the entire course of history.

In that moment, I knew I had a choice: to stubbornly cling to bitterness and mental raving because MY PLAN had been messed up; or to surrender to HIS PLAN for my day. I know it seems like such a silly thing to get all worked up about, but I can be quite mulish when it comes to my schedule and the way I think things should go. It's a control thing, like just about every other sin.

Suddenly, the thought sprang into my head: When you speak the universe into existence, you can start calling the shots! And I started laughing - at myself and the silliness of letting a 45-minute setback send me into such a tailspin. Did I really think God's agenda for my day would somehow be less beneficial than mine? From that moment, I chose (completely by God's grace) to view the entire day as an adventure that God had already planned out for me and for the rest of the family.

Amazingly, I made it to all of the garage sales on my list (although not in time to get the Polly Pockets), and I found some really great buys. Even more amazingly, Rach and Zekers got to VBS in time to see their beloved Chatter the Squirrel. I had the most wonderful time just driving around with the radio cranked, and of course, getting to use numerous bathrooms belonging to total strangers (which inevitably happens when you're with Kari Bou). The kiddos had a blast, and it turns out that the 2 different VBS's that Rachel attended were doing the exact same theme, so she was excited to get to sing the same songs and see the same characters both days, even at 2 different places.

And such a difference it's made, just releasing to God the control that's His anyway. All day long, I've been flooded with joy and such peace. It's ok to make plans, as long as I remember that it's God who ultimately determines the course of my day, my week, my life. So thanks, LORD, for the dead battery. And thanks for a husband who can recharge it!