Mermaids and Monster Mountain

OK, time for another "picture post" - my lame attempt to justify having a digital camera. :-)

Several weeks ago, we took a trip with Grandma Miller to Wegerzyn Metro Park - home of the Scarecrow Convention! We trekked through wooded paths; took in beautiful fall flowers, leaves and fountains; and walked past dozens of . . . well, rather interesting . . . scarecrows. Rachel's favorite was, of course, the Mermaid. Zekers was so delighted by the "Horse and Rider" scarecrow - a knight riding what I guess was supposed to be a horse with 2 heads - that I couldn't even get him to pose for a picture with it. All he wanted to do was stand in front of the monstrosity, gazing up in total awe and admiration.

The highlight for Kari Bou was definitely the outdoor discovery place. She thouroughly enjoyed drenching herself in the cold water - good thing the temp got up to 75 that day! Actually, all three of them were pretty wet by the end of the afternoon. We had to go back to Grandma's so we could hang all the kids' clothing - including Rachel's underwear - on a tree to dry.



We spent Saturday at Brumbaugh's Fruit Farm with friends. We walked through the woods and played in Snow White's cottage, a pirate ship and a castle with a drawbridge; we took rides on a zip-line sort of swing; the dads & kiddos went through a corn maze; we slid down Monster Mountain, a huge tube slide built into a hill; we ate yummy apple fritters and rubbery hot dogs; we petted cats, dogs and goats; and the kids played in mounds of hay and corn, managing to get particles of both on just about every square inch of their bodies. (Why does every "fun" trip we take seem to involve a complete change of clothes afterward?)

The most humorous part of the day was definitely lunch. Danny excitedly ordered a "walking taco," thinking it would be like the ones at the fair. What he got was a very small Fritos bag about half full with Fritos, chili and a few pieces of lettuce and cheese. He came drooping back to the picnic table looking like a sad puppy dog; he'd actually eaten the entire thing on the way over to the table. The only thing that saved him was being able to down 2 large tacos after coming back home.

Good times . . . Some days I wish autumn could last forever . . .

Like Pulling Teeth

I HATE going to the dentist. In fact, I wish there was a stronger word than "hate" so I could use that instead. A trip to the dentist effectively ruins my entire day, if not the remainder of the week.

Let me explain. Rachel was recently due for her second annual dentist visit. She did great, and I was very proud of her. The hygienist counted and cleaned her teeth; the dentist congratulated her on going a year without sucking her thumb (After last year's visit, we came straight home and duct taped mittens onto her hands every night for 2 weeks. It was so sad, but she knew it had to be done. She would even remind us to tape on her mittens if we forgot.); she received a Disney Princess flosser, a new pink toothbrush and a Gloria sticker (from Madagascar). Then it was my turn.

When it comes to physical features, there is nothing I'm more insecure about than my teeth. Which is why I try not to think about them EVER - even when I'm brushing, which I do on occasion. So 30 minutes spent focusing on nothing BUT my teeth adds up to my worst nightmare. The pointy metal instrument they love to use has to be some kind of torture device; it's like dragging a metal fork down a chalkboard, right there inside your mouth. Then there's the cardboard guards they shove halfway down your throat - 4 times - just to get some lousy pictures of you molars. Oh yes, and the best part is the "toothpaste" they use to clean your teeth, and the little dribble of water that never quite gets rid of the grittiness. When you ask for more water, you get another little dribble, then you clamp down on the suction device until your face turns inside out.

Another thing I've noticed: I believe it is the universal goal of dental hygienists to ensure that all patients leave the premises without one shred of self-respect. My hygienist (who was very friendly and chatty, and who I probably would have really liked had we met under ANY other circumstances) asked me whether I floss every day. I said no, and was about to explain that I do floss about twice a week, but I didn't have a chance to get that much out before I was reprimanded for my deplorable lack of dental hygiene. When the dentist came in, I heard her tell him I was "a bad flosser." So there you have it, folks - my new identity: I'm A BAD FLOSSER. The other thing is, they do this to you while your mouth is being pried open and excavated, so you can't even defend yourself. It's cruel and unfair.

For a good 20 minutes, I sat there and listened to words like "decalcification" and "discoloration" and "plaque." Worst of all, I was told my teeth will get darker WITH AGE. I guess it's all downhill for me. I heard these words as through a fog, because suddenly I was back in jr. high, standing naked in a busy hallway (For the record, I never actually did that in jr. high, but I'm pretty sure I dreamed it several times), a glaring spotlight revealing my imperfections to the world. I wanted nothing more than to go home and staple my mouth shut.

My dentist, who is very, very good at what he does, did hold out a faint ray of hope. Next week I get to go back and get fitted for molds for my teeth, so I can try bleaching the darn things. If that doesn't work, maybe I'll apply for "Extreme Makeover."

A Time to Gag

I guess it's that time of year again. Coughing, dripping, puking, and crying have become the soggy cadence that fills each dragging day. Our house is a veritable snot factory.

It's hard not to dwell on the miseries in this House Where Time Stands Still. Missed social events and church activities. The fact that we're held hostage in our own home. Night after night of crying / coughing munchkins waking every couple of hours.

The fact is, there's an upside to having sick kids. Some much-needed down time. Not worrying about little things like getting dressed or fixing my hair. Longer naps (for the kids). And best of all - lots and lots of snuggle time. I look ahead to days when I will think to myself that I would give anything to have a warm heavy head resting on my chest and arms full of sweet drowsiness.

All the same, I'll be thankful when they're well again. . .

Also Overheard on Christian Radio

My friend Jer listed a few several weeks ago on his blog. Here's a couple more I couldn't resist putting up!

I heard the first one yesterday while fixing dinner:

"The phone lines are open - please call now with your pledge! Listen, folks: Satan doesn't want this radio station to exist. He doesn't want us to even be here. In fact, Satan wants us to . . . . not . . . be here."


This one dates all the way back to Valentine's Day, but I laughed so hard I still remember every word:

"OK, our lucky caller number 5 will receive this silk rose and a wonderful book on romancing your wife. Caller number 5 . . . "

Music plays for about 4 minutes

"Alright, men, you still have a chance to win this great prize. Pick up the phone now and dial ________"

Music plays for 4 more minutes

"We're still waiting for that fifth caller . . . . caller number 5 . . . "

Unfulfilled Longings

God recently confronted me with a truth, and it's been on my mind all week . . .

It's from the book Lies Women Believe, by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. The author tackles 40 different deceptions used by Satan to keep us from a thriving relationship with Christ, and then counters these lies with truth from God's Word. Lie #12 goes something like this:

I should not have to live with unfulfilled longings.

I hadn't realized how much this idea has made its way into my thinking. When I pray, often it's with the attitude that God owes me all my heart's desires . . . that if I ask Him often enough and with the right amount of faith, He will certainly give me what I so earnestly request. Doesn't He want me to be happy?

DeMoss points out, referring to Rom. 8:23, that we will always have unfulfilled longings this side of heaven, and that . . . we must learn to be content with unfulfilled longings. *groan* There's the C-word again.

God has made us in such a way that we can never be truly satisfied with anything or anyone less than Himself (Ps. 16:11, 34:8-10).

The bottom line is, in spite of my self-proclaimed expertise, I don't know what's best for me, or for anyone else. God does, though, and He uses my unfulfilled longings to refine me and deepen my longing for a future life with Him. He uses them to drive me to HIMSELF, the only oasis and true satisfaction.

I Hope Karis Can Forgive Us Someday

I've had to laugh lately as I've begun to notice a progression in parenting practices from the first child to the third. The following may be a bit stereotypical and/or exaggerated, but most of these are taken from my own experience, having begun raising three kids and being a firstborn child myself . . .

Child #1 - Dropped binky is thouroughly washed off and sterilized - several times.
Child #2 - Dropped binky is rinsed off and put back into mouth
Child #3 - Dropped binky is put back into mouth after large dirt particles may or may not have been flicked off

Child #1 - Swooped up at the first whimper
Child #2 - Picked up after crying for several minutes
Child #3 - "There's a baby crying?"

Child #1 - Free-range meat, organic tofu burgers, made-from-scratch whole-grain cereal, a truckload of fruits and veggies
Child #2 - Turkey dogs, some fruits and veggies (mostly banana), all-natural cereal bars
Child #3 - Anything edible that isn't too far expired

Child #1 - Baby book meticulously filled out through the first five years
Child #2 - Baby book sporadically filled out through the first year
Child #3 - Should we have gotten a baby book?

Child #1 - Picture taken each month, on the same day, at the same time, in the same pose
Child #2 - Picture taken 8 out of the first 12 months
Child #3 - All 4 pictures taken during the first year are on an older sibling's camera

Child #1 - Rigorously and consistently disciplined for every infraction
Child #2 - Able to manipulate way out of some punishments
Child #3 - Gets away with murder

Child #1 - Brand new: Gap, Old Navy, Gymboree
Child #2 - Used: Gap, Old Navy, Gymboree
Child #3 - Garage sale leftovers

Child #1 - Naptime at exactly 9:30am, 1:00pm daily
Child #2 - Naptime sometime in the morning and another sometime in the afternoon on most days
Child #3 - Brief snatches of a nap in the car while running errands

Child #1 - Read to at least 20 minutes a day
Child #2 - Read to when Child #1 wants to be read to
Child #3 - Occasionally overhears book being read to Child #1 & #2

Child #1 - We have all the answers
Child #2 - We have some of the answers
Child #3 - We don't even know the right questions to ask!



I can't think of any more at the moment. But I know what you're thinking right now is, it's a good thing we only have THREE . . .

Wrighteous Living

This week has flown by. There's way too much to write about, so I'll just leave it at a few highlights, starting with last weekend.

Here's to . . .

. . . a wonderful evening with new friends. At 6:00 we were practically strangers, and 6 hours later it seemed like we'd known each other for years.

. . . Cubbies! Rachel is in her second year and absolutely loves it. Last week she brought home a work of art she called "fireworks": a blob of glue on a piece of black paper, covered with gold glitter.

. . . Applesauce. Applesauce. Applesauce. My goal is to freeze enough for our family for an entire year, since the kids won't eat anything but the stuff I make (I use Cortland apples, so it always turns out bright pink!). I'm about halfway there . . .

. . . dinner at El Camino with a good friend - a rare treat!

. . . scrapbook parties where very little scrapbooking actually takes place. :-)

. . . 2 strollers, 3 hours, 4 miles, 200 doorhangers, 1 church plant launching next Sunday!

. . . date nights with free babysitting! We had dinner at Applebee's while Jason & Jodi got puked on by Zekers.

. . . a fridge so full of leftovers from the previous week that I went 5 days without having to fix dinner. You can't beat that!

. . . having a 4-yr-old shopping buddy who has turned out to be a surprising conversationalist.

. . . discovering that Danny & I are never immune to "The Crazy Cycle" (see Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs) - a humbling realization.

. . . not taking one picture for over a week - the first time this has happened in about 5 years.

Better With Age

Well, here I am - up to my eyeballs in laundry and the house is trashed from top to bottom. In a rare moment of reckless abandon, I'm indulging in something I love - writing - while throwing Everything Else to the wind. What a rush. (I know, I need to get out more)

I've been thinking quite a bit lately about aging. Maybe it's because of the silver-gray hair I occasionally pluck from my head. Or maybe it's the tiny crow's feet that have begun to accompany every smile. The fact is, no matter how young I look or feel, I am slowly, steadily growing older, as is every other human being on earth. And I'm not quite sure how I feel about this.

On the one hand, I'm in the prime of my life: old enough to be taken (somewhat) seriously, but not yet considered "old" - by most. On the other hand, I was 20 about one minute ago, and now, in just 8 short years, I will be 40! God has allowed me to experience so much already: college life, cross-country travels, 3 months overseas, having sex (Don't even pretend you've never prayed for Christ's return to be delayed until you got to experience that!), being married, giving birth, parenting. I don't think I dread dying as much as I dread growing old.

Why is that????

Perhaps it's because youth is so celebrated in our society and I'm terrified that the time is fast-approaching when I will be considered outdated and irrelevant. Or perhaps it's my own lack of preparedness. Every birthday kind of "sneaks up" on me and I'm rarely at a point where I feel ready to be that age.

What if - and this is purely conjecture - what if I began now to think about the kind of person I desire to be at age 50? What if I embraced the thought of growing older, because with age comes wisdom, maturity (hopefully!), the opportunity to invest in younger women, and a more intimate walk with my Savior? What if I give less attention to things that truly don't matter in the long run, and focus more on what's eternal?

I wish I had thought about this at age 20. I wish that, in addition to planning out how my imaginary wedding would play out and what kind of family I wanted to have and the career I would be pursuing, I had also planned toward the kind of person I would be - regardless of how my circumstances unfolded.

Not that I'm looking forward to the litany of health issues that often plagues the elderly, or the gradual deterioration of my physical body. But I do look with anticipation toward becoming wiser and more like Christ - and that much closer to going home. "Wisdom is with aged men, With long life is understanding" (Job 12:12). What I wouldn't give sometimes for a little more understanding!

I read about Sarah, Anna and Timothy's grandmother in Scripture - how God used them in their old age. And I think about the older people who have had a much greater influence on my life than they will ever know: people who have prayed and encouraged me and offered godly wisdom through tumultuous times of my life. The fact is, I wouldn't have made it this far without the counsel of those older, and far wiser, than myself.

I hope this doesn't sound too morbid. I guess what I'm saying is that instead of fighting or denying the aging process, I want to run the WHOLE race so as to bring glory to God - whether I'm 32 or 62. And I want to start thinking about the kind of person, the kind of disciple, I want to be when I reach middle age and then the "sunset years."

Say What?

2 random happenings from the past couple of weeks . . .

We were in Wal-Mart (our second home) several days ago, waiting outside the restroom for Rachel. Zekers patiently sat in the blue toddler seat attached to the cart, and Kari Bou very impatiently squirmed in the "basket" portion of the cart for smaller children. A kind-looking older woman came out of the restroom, saw us, and smiling broadly, came over to chat for a minute.

I've found that whenever you venture out in public with three kids ages 4 & under, you get lots of comments - everything from nice ("Oh, aren't they adorable?") to sympathetic ("You certainly have your hands full!") to downright rude ("There are ways to prevent that, you know.") This woman seemed like the nice type.

"What a big, strapping boy you have there!" She exclaimed. "My, he looks strong."

I started to smile and respond, when I realized she wasn't looking at my son, but at my DAUGHTER. Now, Karis had her one-year checkup several weeks ago and weighed in at a whopping 19.5 lbs - enough to put her in the 25th percentile for weight. She's in the 85th percentile for height, however, which makes her seem even thinner. She has very little hair and was wearing a brown shirt that day, so I could sort of understand the mistake, but come on - Zekers was sitting right there and is bigger and broader in every way! The last thing any mother wants to hear is how masculine her sweet, delicate little girl looks.

I was about to explain that Karis was, in fact, a girl, but I couldn't get a word in edgewise. "My, you're going to make a fine football player someday - probably a linebacker!" She continued. At this point I simply smiled politely and prayed fervently that Rach would come out of the bathroom.

And when she did come out (of the girls' restroom), what was this nice lady's comment? "Where in the world does he get his beautiful curly hair?" I must confess, I grabbed the cart and bolted, afraid that in five more minutes she'd have discovered Zekers and turned him into a ballerina.

Later in the week, we were again out running errands - this time waiting at a red light. Rach & Zekers like to talk to each other and to me while we're driving, so often when I'm sitting at a light I'll turn around so I can see them. On this particular occasion, they looked so adorable sitting there like three little ducks in a row, that I couldn't help exclaiming, apparently very loudly, "You guys are SO cute!"

Almost at the same moment, I glanced to the side, and saw that right next to us sat a red pickup truck with 2 young-ish men in the front seat. The weather being somewhat warm, we both had our windows open. I have never seen two heads snap so fast to look in my direction. And I won't soon forget the expression on their faces - a mixture of surprise and delight. At once, it ocurred to me that our windows are all tinted, and the back seat windows were, in fact, closed. There was absolutely no evidence to indicate I had been talking to anyone other than them! After making matters worse by inadvertently saying, "Aw, crap", the only other option that came into my head was to turn around and speak to the kids very loudly, making it obvious I had been talking to children in the back seat. I have never experienced such a torturously long wait at a red light.

I've decided from now on I'm having my groceries delivered.

Fun Times on the Ferris Wheel

Going through some old pix the other day, and sorting through some newer ones, I came across these two gems and realized I just can't keep this to myself. It's almost spooky.


Fair 2005


Fair 2006


I guess we can look at this as A) an annual waste of $4 or B) a new annual tradition. Personally, I vote for C) All of the above.

When Contentment Isn't Good

Our church has begun an in-depth study of the book of Joshua. A discussion during life group on Tuesday and some of the reading for next week brought out an interesting concept from the first chapter of the book that has really stayed with me.

The Bible teaches that contentment equals much greater gain than earthly possessions. Satisfaction in Christ is key in the Christian life. However, there is one thing I should never be satisfied with, and that is - ME.

I'm not talking about my looks or personality or gifts & abilities. I'm thinking more of my relationship with Christ. I should be in a continual process of refinement, pressing on to look more like my Savior until the day I enter eternal rest with Him. He Himself says, "Be perfect, even as your Heavenly Father is perfect" (Mt. 5:48). Paul speaks of "pressing on toward the goal" in Philippians 3:14. To use his analogy, a good runner is not content to complete part of the race and then take a nap on the track. She stays focused on the finish line until she crosses it. Therefore I must spend the rest of my life in pursuit of this goal - becoming more like Christ, and storing up eternal rewards vs. earthly ones.

"Godliness with contentment is great gain" (I Tim. 6:6), but contentment with where I am spiritually quickly becomes complacency.

Pearly Whites

Rachel had her second annual trip to the dentist on Thursday, and I'm proud to say, she did great!

Melody, the dental hygienist, had a way of putting her right at ease while she counted and cleaned her teeth, and Dr. Fourman congratulated her on no longer sucking her thumb. (After last year's appointment, we came straight home and duct taped mittens to both her hands every night for 2 weeks. It was so sad, but she knew it had to be done. She even reminded us to get the mittens on nights we forgot.) Then she received a "Disney Princess" flosser and a new pink toothbrush - and a sticker of Gloria the hippo from Madagascar. Does it get any better than that?

I, on the other hand, didn't fare quite so well. No princess flosser or sticker for me. But I do get to go back for another appointment next week!

Little Bou

It didn't hit me until a couple of months ago - I unwittingly named my darling baby girl after my husband's fantasy basketball team! Aaaagggghhhh!

Karis' name was agreed upon about one week prior to her birth. We knew she was going to be a boy - everyone thought so - because of the way I carried her (see pregnancy myth #458): super low, out front, and I was HUGE. But, just for fun, we thought maybe we should have a girl's name handy. Enter "Karis Hope."

After the dozens of nicknames we came up with for Rach & Zekers, Karis' list has been pretty short. She started out as "Baby Love" and slowly became "Kari Bou" (with variations such as "Baby Bou", and "Little Bou Bou"). In vain, I attempted to change the nickname to "Kari Lou." No dice. She simply IS Kari Bou.

FYI, Danny's team is the Carson City Caribou, so he's always been after me to name a boy "Carson" and a girl "Cari", with a middle name of "Bou." I, of course, said what any loving wife would say: "Over my dead body." And here we are. Things have degenerated to the point that I can't think of her as anything else.

While we're on the topic: my little Bou turned one year old last Tuesday; we had her party on Saturday. I feel I must mention it was the ONE day all week that was actually cold, windy and rained most of the afternoon and evening. We did manage to hang out and open gifts before it really started coming down, although she was forced to finish mauling her cake indoors. In spite of the schitzophrenic weather and realizing at the last minute that we had about 20 less lawn chairs than we needed, it was a fun day with family and friends.

In honor of Karis being out in the open for one year, I thought I'd jot down several adjectives that describe her most accurately. Here we go:

Determined - When she decides she wants to do something, watch out! She WILL figure out how to do it.

Hungry - Have you ever seen this kid eat? At times she out-eats both her older siblings. And there's nothing she won't try, including sand, dirt, and wood chips (with the exception of certain vegetables, of course). There's no other way to say it - she's a pig.

Stinky - She can also poop like nobody's business. The last three days in a row, she's gone to pooping after breakfast, waiting for me to change her, and then going for round two almost immediately.

Fun - She's one of the happiest (usually) babies I've ever been around. It's way too easy to get a belly laugh from her; in fact, sometimes she comes up to one of us and just starts laughing because she knows it will make us laugh. She's full of personality and life; if anyone in the house is having fun, she has to plop herself right down in the middle of it. What a clown.

Cute - see pictures

Tough - She's had no choice but to learn to fight back . . .

Accident-prone - Goes with #1, I guess. She walks around with more bruises and cuts even than Zekers used to. Yesterday she somehow managed to fall face-forward while in her high chair, bringing the entire chair down on top of herself. That one resulted in a pretty good shiner. The child simply refuses to sit still.

Sweet - Just spend five minutes with her, and you'll see what I mean.

Loud - Ditto

Mamma's Girl - In my opinion, this is by far her best quality. I love that she likes to lay her head on my shoulder and that she wants to snuggle after every "injury" and that her first word was "Mama." She loves her Daddy too, of course, and has a special smile she reserves just for him.

Happy Birthday, Kari Bou! I love you!

The Latest Craziness

Rachel is currently trying to talk me into letting her have a "bath party" - an event which would involve all her friends coming over and taking one big bath together, apparently for an extended period of time.

Danny & I were actually thinking that this would be an excellent "ice-breaker" for our life group.

Celebrating 150 Years of Swine

And rabbits. And goats. And greasy, overpriced food. And outrageously expensive rides. And annoyingly long lines. And teeth-rattling, ear-shattering tractor pulls. And dust-covered strollers. And dust-covered children. And our neighborhood turning into a giant parking lot. And not being able to walk 10 yards at a time without running into someone you know, because everyone who lives within a 100-mile radius is there.

In spite of, or - dare I say it? - perhaps because of, all these things, THE GREAT FAIR in this county is the highlight of our summer! We actually went six out of the nine days it ran. What a blast - the kids are at the age where everything they saw delighted their little eyes, ears and mouths. They ate corn dogs, a new favorite (which, unfortunately, they'll have to wait a year to eat again). They petted cows, goats, sheep, pigs, rabbits and dogs. They got colored helium balloons from the Republican and Democratic tents (We're raising non-partisan kids, apparently). They went on "The Hurricane" with Mommy & Daddy (yes, it's every bit as bad as it sounds, and actually made Daddy sick). They watched a goat-showing. But THE most memorable part of their fairgoing experience: they rode the now-infamous "Dragon Wagon" roller coaster.

The first time Zekers rode the Dragon Wagon, he had a look of absolute terror on his face, and Rachel clung to the bar for dear life. By the last day, Zekers was laughing through the entire ride, while Rachel stuck her hands into the air the moment she was strapped in and left them there for the duration of the ride, yelling for everyone else to do the same.

And where was Karis all this time? Let's just say that when she hears the word "home" she goes straight for the stroller! Haha. She actually did very well. Now I'm trying to figure out how to hold her off for a few more years so that next year I don't have to buy three ride bracelets.

So, farewell to THE GREAT FAIR. It was expensive, greasy, dirty and loud. And, come next August, I will once again count the days until it reopens.

The Meaning of Family

I just had to share this with whoever in the blogosphere cares to read it, because it's too funny to keep to myself.

Rachel has been using the potty for nearly 2 years. She does everything herself, including washing/drying her hands and flushing. But the one thing we're still working on is getting her to do her own "paperwork" after doing her business. She's finally gotten to the point where she will wipe herself after a "baby poopie" so I started thinking the end is in sight. Until this afternoon.

I came upstairs from doing some laundry, and heard Rach yelling for me from the bathroom. She was sitting on the toilet, asking me to wipe her. "Sweetie," I said calmly, "You know how to do that yourself now."

She looked up at me in frustration. "Mom, you know I can wipe myself after a baby poopie, but look - there's a whole family in there!"

Murphy's Law at its Finest

Why is it that when you're in a hurry, you encounter nothing but red traffic lights; and when you desperately need a red traffic light, every last one of them is green??

I was just out running some errands with the kids when Karis let out 2 sneezes in a row. I glanced back at her and saw that she had hard core snot shooting out of BOTH nostrils (I know that sounds disgusting, but there's really no other way to say it). Naturally, I was dying to bring the car to a screeching halt and immediately clean her up, but do you think that the entire way from our house to Walmart we encountered even ONE red light? Normally, I spend at least five minutes sitting at the stinkin' things, but not today! I finally pulled into the YMCA parking lot, but by that time, of course, she had effectively covered her entire face with slime, and even slicked some into her "hair".

We got it all cleaned up, of course, but I'm still bitter about the lights.

My Name is Zekers

Today is a day to celebrate!

Around April we noticed Zekers was getting lazy in his speech. "Please" became "plz" and "Zekers" became "Zkers"; basically, he wasn't pronouncing certain vowels. Several weeks later, it became apparent that some major regression had taken place. He spoke almost entirely through his nose and most of it sounded like jibberish. Even Rachel, his expert translator, couldn't understand him. (Of course, rather than admit defeat, she invented all kinds of interesting phrases, claiming that was what he meant to say.) His speech continued to worsen and was so bad during July that friends and family began really noticing the change and wondering what was going on.

We used to laugh at him because when he began talking at 18 months, it was always in complete sentences, and always with perfect enunciation. It was comical watching him try so hard to say every word clearly. Now, he'd cry, mumbling incoherently, so that we couldn't understand what it was that he needed.

I thought, it must be something simple like water in his ears or some kind of health issue impairing his hearing. A trip to the pediatrician, however, only revealed that we had a little boy in great health, with above average hearing, who couldn't talk anymore. The doctor himself was baffled, and referred us to a spech therapist at Children's. The appointment was scheduled for August 23.

I tried not to worry, but this nagging doubt kept tugging at my mind. What if something's wrong with him? What if this is irreparable? My dad suggested that maybe it was psychological - some kind of family dynamic thing. This really upset me, because it made sense. But it also made me feel incredibly guilty. Zekers has been the "neglected one" of the family. He's so low-maintainance: he entertains himself and doesn't demand a whole lot of attetion, unlike his sisters. Sometimes I realize he's still at the breakfast table, just sitting there talking to himself, when the rest of us have been in the living room playing for 30 minutes!

Anyway, all these fears were going through my head - making me think I'd somehow damaged him for life. And then yesterday he started talking.

We were out running errands and he told me he wanted something. I told him he needed to say please, and he said it. I grabbed his shoulders and almost screamed, WHAT DID YOU SAY?! And he said it again, clear as a bell. For the next five minutes, all the poor kid did was answer a litany of questions fired at him by his hysterical mother. What is your name?(Zekers) What comes after 2? (threeee) What does a cow say? (Moooooo) I couldn't believe it! I even called Danny and had Zekers say his name over the phone so Daddy could hear. His speech had been slowly improving for a couple of weeks, but this was the first time he'd pronounced some of these words clearly in months.

I guess the good thing that's come from all this has been a heightened awareness that my son needs my attention even though he doesn't demand it in obvious ways. We've made such a big deal over Karis, especially during the spring and summer when she's been hurdling so many major milestones like crawling and walking, that sometimes our sweet little Zekers goes unnoticed. I've been making sure to give him extra hugs, and snuggle with him a little longer at bedtime and sing to him more.

And now that his speech has pretty much cleared itself up, I can turn all my energy to fretting over the fact that he's still not potty trained!

Entitled

I've been thinking about myself a lot lately - in more ways than one!

Amid all the egocentric self-serving thoughts continually swirling about in my cranium, an occasional moment of true introspection peaks through - a painful but necessary moment in which Christ Jesus extends to me a glimpse of my own heart. Any more would be unbearable, for this one glimpse reveals just how far I am from His perfection - the standard I should be striving, by His grace, to attain.

Allow me to explain (confess). As far back as I can remember, I have struggled with contentment; many sins I have wrestled with and continue to wrestle with, I have recently discovered, spring from this core issue. I was actually beginning to think I had finally arrived with this one: I love my family and friends and am truly grateful for all that God has chosen to entrust to us. I don't lie awake nights wishing we lived in a mansion or owned a llama or had our own helicopter. So I can finally shelve that prayer request, right? Dream on . . .

Danny & I have had the privilege of facilitating a group study on the book, "Love and Respect" (which I plan to review in a few weeks) on Sunday nights. Last Sunday, the 2nd week of the study, we asked each couple to bring a wedding picture and share about their wedding or honeymoon. I couldn't believe it - out of 7 couples, we were the only ones who had a honeymoon consisting of more than one or two nights! Several couples had no honeymoon at all.

You're wondering if there's a point to all this. The point is, I haven't been able to stop thinking about the whole honeymoon thing all week. To be honest, I took ours for granted. I would have felt robbed had we NOT spent over a week in another state following our wedding.

And it's been dawning on me slowly this week how many other things in our lives I just expect God to provide, with no basis for this expectation. Instead of thanking Him profusely for allowing us to create a third bedroom in our house just before Karis was conceived, I groan and complain because our 3 bedrooms are smaller than I'd like them to be. I go around with the attitude that God owes us 2 working vehicles with ample trunk space; He owes us an abundance of food and clothing; and of course He's allowed us to purchase furniture and get away for a week to Wisconsin this summer - don't we deserve it, after all?

The bottom line is, I have an attitude of entitlement. The apostle Paul says, "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Whoa! Is it actually possible to be content even while lacking food, one of the most basic human essentials? And Paul's idea of living "in want" is undoubtedly much different than my own. The man lived much of his adult life out of a suitcase (or whatever the 1st century version of a suitcase would be), and that was on a good day!

God owes me nothing but eternal damnation; praise His holy name He's given me the promise of eternal life! Instead of living my life feeling entitled to all that He's graciously provided, I should be living in a mindset of continuous praise for His many gifts - and I'm not talking just material things. He's given us health, and family, and friends, and a wonderful church body, and the list goes on. . .

It's pretty easy to sit here and write all this out, and pretty difficult to live it every day. I will probably be fighting this attitude of entitlement until the day I die. But I want to keep fighting it. Maybe if I do, someday down the road, as Danny preached yesterday, I may look a little more like Christ. That's definitely worth the effort.

Curly Dimpled Lunatic

With Danny back home after a week in California for Brethren National Youth Conference, our church's week of VBS now behind us, and summer travels at an end, life is finally beginning to resemble something "normal" (whatever that means). But how we've changed over the course of just 2 months! Zeke has thinned out and grown taller; his hair has turned white-blonde from days in the sun. Karis has undergone the most obvious transformation - our helpless infant has become an independent toddler almost overnight.

But it is Rachel who has changed the most significantly over the summer. As I replaced last year's picture of Rachel with her current one, I was struck by how fast she's growing up. She looks so much older than she did a year ago - but it's more than just her looks. Every aspect of her little person has gone from chubby toddlerhood to bright, energetic preschooler. It makes me sad to think about, but also grateful that God is allowing me to guide, develop and love her in these early years. So, I'm dedicating this post to Rachel, our almost-4-year-old.

Ralph Waldo Emerson defines child as "a curly dimpled lunatic." There couldn't be a better description of my firstborn daughter! I mean, what can you expect from someone who begs to watch "The 101 Salvations", who thanked God for paper towels one night at dinner, and who cried inconsolably when I shared with her tonight that even though her party was Saturday, she's not going to be 4 for another 2 weeks? I admit it - I lied just to make her stop crying, which she did the moment I told her I was only kidding and she really is 4.

Since we're on the topic . . . Rachel had her very first "friend birthday party" over the weekend, with her friend, Alia. Since their birthdays are a month apart, Alia's mom, Erin, and I decided to combine forces and have a big princess party (the girls insisted on this theme) on August 5th - 2 weeks after Alia's birthday and 3 weeks before Rachel's. Rachel has been anticipating this party, by the way, since January.

It was fabulous. Each little princess, in full regalia, was announced, had her picture taken, and got to walk the red carpet, across the deck and out into the yard. They sifted for jewels and precious stones in boxes of sand, they searched for Cinderella's lost slipper, they played on the swingset and the "inflatable bouncy thing", as we've come to call it, in the yard. Erin read "The Princess and the Kiss" to them, the two birthday princesses opened gifts and we ended the whole shabang with fairy castle cake and ice cream. I was rather proud of the cake, which looked oh so simple but took over four hours to make. There were 11 princesses at the party, and 2 fully outfitted queens - one of whom was 8 months pregnant (not me!). I did feel a little sorry for poor Zekers, who, consumed by jealousy, begged to be dressed as a princess like his sister. We've simply got to get that kid a cowboy outfit or something.

In June I signed Rachel up for summer ballet classes. She goes every Tuesday and Thursday for 10 half-hour sessions. I tell you what - she's about 10 kinds of cute in her little leotard and skirt, practicing her "first potition" and "releve" with the other 6 or 7 girls in the class. Although she matter-of-factly shared with her dance instructor last week that she wasn't "in the mood" to dance, she usually does pretty well and even asked Miss Barbara today for an extra sucker to take home to her brother. What a sweetheart.

Also for the first time, Rachel has attended 2 Vacation Bible Schools - one at Camp Forest Springs in July, and the other at our church last week. Ours had a "reaching the nations" theme, highlighting Brazil, the Dominican Republic, South Africa, India and the USA. As a part of the team that put together the USA night, I had the privilege of dressing as a fashion-challenged frontier-woman. Rach did look adorable in her cowgirl outfit - if only the bottom half would have stayed up. Apparenly her jeans AND underwear were a mite large on her, as her group leader told me afterward that she mooned all 150 VBS-ers during the teaching time.

There are so many things I pray she never loses. Her belly laugh. Her impy smile. Her spiritual sensitivity. Her compassion for those in need. Her generosity with kisses, hugs and affection in general. Her crazy curly hair. Her love for asking questions (although I wouldn't mind if that one diminished a little). It's been an amazing four years, and I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to the next four!

Sneak Peek

With 2 birthdays coming up, we made the trek to Sears for portraits on Friday. (Karis turns 1 August 29 and Rach turns 4 August 24.) If you want to view some of their poses, just

go here.

Just enter my email (charity@greenvillegrace.org) and the password "karishope" to get in.

Are they the cutest or what??

Book Review: Counted Righteous in Christ

The Reason Behind the Reading

I should probably begin by explaining why in the world I would ever attempt to slog through a book like this. If you think I am a little nutty by the end of this review, you are probably not too far off base!

For the past six weeks or more, God has been urging - no, compelling - me to go back to the cross. My relationship with Him has been at a real low point, due mostly to my lack of discipline in making time with Him my first priority. I kept demanding, "God, help me grow! I want to know you so much more deeply than I do right now." I'm not kidding, every time I asked, these words repeated themselves in my head: "If you want to know Me, go to the cross."

I decided to dive in. I read every gospel account of the crucifixion and many related verses. I actually borrowed "The Passion of the Christ" from the library and forced myself to watch every bit of it. (It was even more horrifying than I had imagined.) I asked Danny to bring home books from his library that had anything to do with this topic.

Of the books he chose, this one stood out for some reason: Counted Righteous in Christ by John Piper. I began reading.

If you have ever read a book by this author, you will understand when I say, I got about 2 chapters into it and gave up. Following his logic requires absolute concentration and a fully rested, lucid mind. My life being the way it is right now, I was 0 for 2. Not to mention that Piper's footnotes constitute another book in themselves (one chapter contained over 60 footnotes, the majority of which must be read for a full understanding of the material contained in the chapter). I believe if these notes were printed in the same font as the main text of the book, it would have been twice its current length.

For some reason (God's prompting, perhaps?) I threw this book in with several others "just in case" I needed something to read on our trip. As it turned out, I read from it nearly every day. Yes, it took me about 7 days to read a 125-page book. I considered it a HUGE success to get through 10-15 pages in a sitting and actually understand them. But once I gave Piper a chance, I found what he had to say riveting, which kept me coming back for more.

So here goes (deep breath) . . .


The Review

Piper writes this "short" book in response to the contemporary challenge to the doctrine of the imputation of Christ's righteousness. This doctrine states that "Christ has become our substitute in two senses: in His suffering and death He becomes our curse and condemnation. And in His suffering and life He becomes our perfection" (p. 41). Basically, God counts us as righteous through faith based on Christ's perfect obedience in both His life and His death.

He addresses four of the "revisions" made to traditional teachings on justification, which are as follows:

1. Instead of faith being the catalyst of Christ's imputed righteousness, faith itself IS our righteousness (based on Rom. 4:2-6).

2. Justification involves only the imputation of our sin to Christ; NOT the imputation of His divine righteousness to us.

3. Justification has to do with "liberation from sin's mastery." In other words, justification includes sanctification, or the process of becoming more Christlike.

4. The doctrine of Christ's righteousness being imputed to believing sinners needs to be abandoned as unbiblical.

Piper's exegetical response to these challenges blew me away. He delves into several key passages in Romans, Philippians, and 1 & 2 Corinthians (He camps out for quite a while in Romans 5), carefully laying out the original Greek meanings of numerous words and phrases Paul uses. Then he goes much deeper by looking at Paul's conceptual framework and flow of thought in order to penetrate to the reality behind the words. Amazing. Reading Piper is like reading a mathematical equation (granted, a very complex one!).

He makes a very solid and biblical case (in my opinion) for the traditional view of justification:

1) That the righteousness imputed to us is external and not our faith. "Paul's conceptual framework for imputation . . . would not be God's crediting something we have to be righteousness, but God's crediting a righteousness we don't have to be ours by grace through faith" (p. 57).

2) That the external righteousness credited to us is God's.

3) That justification does not equal liberation from sin's mastery. "Our union with Christ in His death for us secures our justification, which then leads, as a result, to our moral transformation" (p. 80).

4) That the divine righteousness imputed to believers is the righteousness of Christ. He draws parallels between the imputation of Adam's sin and Christ's righteousness based primarily on Romans 5:12-19. He also shows that Christ's "one act of righteousness" involves both His life and His death.

Why does any of this matter?

Far from "splitting hairs" as I thought when I began reading the first time, the arguments presented are of utmost importance in that the doctrine of imputation, as traditionally (and biblically) understood, "bestows on Jesus Christ the fullest honor He deserves" (p. 125). Simply put, the proposed revisions sell short the redeeming work of Christ! Understanding this doctrine profoundly impacts every aspect of life, from marriage to parenting to providing biblical counsel to evangelization and corporate worship.

Reading this book is work! There is no coasting through it or skimming its pages, if you desire a full understanding of its content. I have probably read the entire thing about three times, if you count the paragraphs and sentences I had to reread several times over to even begin to follow. But it was well worth the effort. Like never before, I have been impressed with the full weight of Christ's work on my behalf - both in life and death. This truth is overwhelming and humbling. I have been motivated to searth the Scripture for myself, to really examine the truth it contains.

In spite of all this, I will most likely not attempt to read another book of this nature until our next vacation! My brain is about as fried as it was after taking the SAT.

Camp Forest Springs

There is no other way to say it: the past couple of weeks have unquestionably been a gift from God.

We left on July 7 in a rented blue minivan, much to Rachel's disap-pointment (she thought the van would be pink). We spent that night (Fri.) in Shaumburg, a suburb of Chicago, where we indulged in (what else?) Chicago-style pizza at a place called Lou Mulnati's (When the hotel personnel described it to us, it sounded like they were saying "Illuminati's"), and went paddle-boating at a nearby park. We arrived in Westboro, Wisconsin, Saturday evening, and drove into the camp. Danny had agreed to be the speaker for their jr. high week (grades 7-9).

Camp Forest Springs is amazing. It is incredibly well-run and upbeat, but what stood out most to me was that fact that spiritual matters are THE major focus, even with everything else they have to offer - boating, swimming, a mini-farm, a challenge course, hiking trails, river trips, air rifles, archery, and wacky games. No camper leaves at the end of the week without having heard the gospel repeatedly via sessions and interaction with their counselor.

Back to our "vacation." We stayed in an air-conditioned one-bedroom apartment for the week. It actually worked out great, although I must confess that at the start I had visions of us all wanting to kill each other by the end of the week. There was a pack-n-play for Karis, a mattress which Zekers claimed the minute he laid eyes on it, and Rachel got to sleep in the "special secret room" (otherwise known as the closet), on a couple of sleeping bags.

We ate all our meals in the cafeteria with 300 other campers, staff and volunteers. The best part? NO COOKING FOR ME!! Now that's what I call a vacation. It was also a treat to get to spend time with Matt & Tarah and their family. Tarah & I attended the same HS and all four of us were at Grace together. Rachel had a blast with their daughter Anna, while Karis and Leah pretty much sat on the beach sucking their binkies and getting sand all over themselves.

I cannot even begin to describe to you the soul-cleansing beauty of this place. All week it was nothing but blue skies, green trees, fluffy white clouds, and sunshine. Several times I was able to get away for a little while and walk along wooded paths, revelling in the solitude, and wishing like anything that I'd remembered to douse myself in bug spray before I left.

The kids all seemed to get so much bigger on the trip. Karis began walking - really walking, chubby legs stomping and arms waving. She was incredibly impressed with herself, judging by her squeals of delight.

Rachel officially became a "big girl" when she went off to VBS - put on by a church in the community - with Renate, a Brazilian woman who she had never met but who became one of her best friends by week's end. Each day at lunch she educated us about the stars & planets, and showed us the little craft she had constructed. She also got to take part in the ultimate special activity - going to night sessions with Daddy, while the younger two went to bed. I wondered at first if she'd be able to hold in the chatter while he spoke, but she did beautifully (mostly because she ate snacks the entire time!).

As for Zekers . . . his big thing for the week was coming up with the phrase "I said muffin" when he was about to get into trouble. The randomness of it just sent me into hysterics every time; which, unfortunately, only encouraged his antics. He did learn a few things about handling animals when we visited the minifarm, and was very proud of himself for his newly-developed nurturing abilities, although my heart goes out to the hapless little chicken pictured above.

My original plan was to teach myself to knit on the trip - hahahaha. I actually thought I was going to make everyone I knew a scarf for Christmas on the way there and back, and during down time at the apartment. After several futile attemps, I gave up, without much of a fight, really. So, most of my time after the kids had gone to bed was instead spent playing guitar and reading a book by John Piper (not simultaneously), which I plan to review in my next post. The day after we got back, I returned all the knitting supplies to Walmart. I need another hobby like I need a hole in the head.

Danny had the double privilege of spending relaxing time with the fam, and impacting the lives of 200 jr. high students. He thouroughly enjoyed speaking, and having some quiet time each morning at the ministry center to prepare/email/blog. Many of the counselors commented to him that the messages sparked amazingly deep conversations between them and the campers. It was also wonderful for him to get to spend rare one-on-one time with each of the kiddos.

We left Saturday morning, again spent the night near Chicago, and again stuffed ourselves with Chicago-style pizza (at Lou Moulnati's). The kids were angels the whole way back. It was the perfect trip: we loved getting away, and we loved coming back home at the end of it.

New Additions

We arrived back several hours ago from a WONDERFUL and much-needed trip to Westboro, WI (more on that later). While I'm waiting for a load of laundry to finish drying, I wanted to relay something I heard on the way there which I found both informative and a little humorous.

According to Russell Moore (ha! I just typed "Crowe" and had to delete it), who was filling in on the Albert Mohler Program (a Christian talk show), Miriam Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary has recently added the following words:

bird flu

soul patch

unibrow

google (as a verb)

himbo - an attractive but vacuous male

mouse potato - someone who sits in front of a computer all day, as opposed to the TV

drama queen - I believe the definition simply read, "See Rachel Wright."


Another random bit of info I couldn't resist sharing: A woman emailed the show to ask whether or not she should see the new "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie, since she knows this will mean several hours of lusting after Johhny Depp. (No comment)

So there you have it: a truly life-enriching post.

The Most Beautiful Place on Earth

As I write, I'm listening to the munchkins banging around and laughing up in their room. Although they are supposed to be napping, I've decided to take the easy road and pretend I don't hear them. This way everybody wins: they have a blast, I get a few things done, and we all go to bed early tonight . . .

This afternoon was glorious. We ate lunch, ran a few errands and headed to the park. At the particular park we visited, the play area is adjacent to several soccer fields bordered by trees.

As we walked toward the swings, Rachel stopped short, her eyes wide, a look of wonder on her face. Puzzled by this sudden change of countenance, I followed her gaze out to the fields, where I saw thousands of small yellow flowers covering sections of the field. The blue sky and green green trees heightened their color, made them seem like little spots of sunshine, dancing and beckoning us to come closer. "Mommy," she whispered, "It's the most beautiful place in the whole world!"

I should explain that there is nothing Rachel loves as much as flowers (with the possible exception of dessert). She insists on keeping an assortment of them on her dresser and is completely devastated every time they die. I have heard at least five times today how David & Lyndie told her she could pick her current dresser bouquet from their yard yesterday. So when she saw that many flowers in one place, she thought she was in heaven.

We spent the next hour among the "buttercups" (I didn't have the heart to tell her they were just weeds) - bright patches of joy that seeped into our souls, erupting into sunny laughter. Rachel picked large bouquets and gave them to me to look after while she went after more. Zekers pulled up handfuls of them, along with a lot of grass, and proudly presented them to me: "It's for you, Mommy." Karis thought they looked like a pretty good afternoon snack.

We played "balance beam" on the bleachers and took turns scoring goals with an imaginary soccer ball. For Zekers, the highlight of the day was seeing a real, honest to goodness, brown hop-toad, who we "rescued" from the play area and set free in the field. I have no way to verify this, but Rach & Zekers both insist he thanked them as he hopped away.

In a few days they probably will have forgotten this afternoon as other memories take its place. But I will treasure it always.

Milestones

I am happy to report that Karis has started walking!! She stood up by herself at a friend's house on Sunday, and the last 2 days has taken steps all on her own. We have yet to exceed five in a row, but hey - it's a start. Her attempts obviously left her feeling pretty worn out. . .

In other news, Zekers' potty training has been postponed until a more opportune time (simply put, it was a disaster).

Rachel continues to expand her vocabulary, as demonstrated by a comment she dropped this morning at breakfast: "Mommy, I'm going to take off my jammies now. I assume I got milk all over them." Judging by her personal history, I assumed her statement was probably correct.

Rainy Days & Mondays

This post is neither humorous nor entertaining. It is not cute or funny. But today it is my reality.

Today my own weaknesses and shortcomings have repeatedly smacked me in the face. It's been one of those days that make you want to throw in the towel, to finally admit defeat - on so many levels.

This parenting thing isn't easy; in fact, it's the most difficult challenge I've ever faced. I feel spent, used up, exhausted. It's like when I'm making applesauce - I'm the dried out pulp that's left in the strainer after all the good stuff has been pounded out. I've become this mechanical thing that goes through it's programmed motions: keep them fed and watered, do the laundry, pick up toys, clean Zeke's poop out of the bathtub, take another crayon out of Kari's mouth, wipe the chalk drawings off the sides of the car, do the bedtime routine, try not to scream at the constant stream of whining/crying that never ever ends. Take a few precious moments to vent before falling into bed, gearing up for the whole cycle to start back up tomorrow.

At the present moment, I feel very certain that I cannot do this.

But tonight, just before we turn off the lights, we will go into their rooms to check on them. In their sleep they will look so peaceful, so vulnerable, so angelic, and as I lean down to kiss each soft cheek and hear a sleepy "I love you too, Mommy," I will fall in love with them all over again.

Days like these are hard, but necessary. They show me once again, how desperately I need my Savior. How in my weakness, He is strong. He took the punishment for every one of my sins, having never sinned Himself, so I can be close to Him and spend eternity with Him. And there lies my strength - not in myself (I'd be dead meat!) but in Him. The one who defeated death itself. Days like these force me to fling myself once again at the foot of His cross and beg Him for both grace and mercy.

Thank you, Jesus, for bad days.

A Change of Scenery

This past week, Danny had the opportunity to speak at a jr. & sr. high camp just north of Columbus. So last Sunday we packed up the kids, along with half our household possessions, and set off for Delaware, OH. We arrived back at 12:30 am on Saturday.

Highlights of the week included:

A camp trip to Wyandot Lake water park
The water was so cold that all Zekers could do was stand in it and shake, but the kids loved all the little rides, and Rachel got to go on stage and participate in a pirate show later in the day! The best, though, was the "treasure" she received at the end: a little stuffed Abraham Lincoln baby in a patriotic speedo.

Pony rides at the Columbus zoo
If you ignore the fact that the zoo was actually OUT OF MAPS (which are absolutely essential to scrapbooking about the event), and we didn't get to see the lions, tigers or giraffes due to a commercial being filmed that day; I guess it was an OK day. The kids loved the manitees, of course, and the petting farm was perfect - complete with pony rides. Rachel told us her pony's name was "Princess", while Zekers, who rode the very same pony, proudly declared his pony's name to be "Hay".

Catching up with lots of college friends
We ate lunch at the same Chick-Fil-A almost every day, but hey, it's the perfect place to eat with friends when 5 or 6 kids are involved! (a good play area = adult conversation)

The best camp food I've ever had
It was seriously good. One little jr. high boy blurted out during the week that it was his favorite thing about the camp. I think he was really embarrassed afterward.

Danny fixed the left rear window on our vehicle, so it is no longer garishly adorned with silver duct tape.
Enough said.


The Fullers
Ray & Karen and their 2 beautiful children gave us their basement for the week. It was like having our own apartment, with a kitchen, bedroom and HUGE play area. The kids had a blast running around in the yard/field, and Karen & I were the recipients of dozens of daisies plucked from the perimeter. They also stocked the fridge and cabinets with more food than we could have eaten in a month, and stuffed us so full of pie, ice cream and cake late at night that we're thinking about fasting for the rest of June, just to fit into our clothes. I was especially grateful for their company when Danny was gone speaking in the evenings. Karis enjoyed peeing all over the bathroom floor and climbing the steps up to the kitchen every chance she got. Oh, and she loved the stuffed Clifford that was bigger than she was!

Coming Home
At the end of a week with no set routine, it's nice to return to the somewhat predictable schedule of home, and to our nice little town. After seeing five Starbucks within a one-mile radius of the Polaris mall (2 were literally across the street from each other!), I almost changed my mind about wanting one here. But not quite.

Bad Dates

I can't tell you how glad I am to have been out of the dating scene for the past nine years. A Chicago song I recently heard playing in a department store transported me immediately to the 1990s, a decade full of dates that I can only describe as . . . really bad.

1. One of the first of these took place my jr. year in high school, when I visited a friend who was a freshman at Liberty University. We were going on a double date with two college guys (could it get any better than that?). The date went remarkably well, until I found out that both guys had asked my friend out for the same night, and I was the "consolation prize" for the loser.

2. My senior year of hs I was invited to Grace's homecoming. Good thing my escort & I weren't "a thing" at the time, since he spent the entire evening flirting with his best friend's date. (They're now married.)

3. Early in high school I spent the day at King's Island with a guy who told me as he took me home that my younger sister was much more beautiful than me. (I believe his exact words were, "She buries you.") Wow - if that doesn't melt a girl's heart . . .

4. Then there was the guy I met one summer during the college years, who seemed promising until he told me he'd pretty much asked my dad for my hand in marriage - after 2 dates. (I always thought you'd want to find out little details about a person, like their middle name, whether or not they want children, what their plans are for the future - BEFORE you ask to marry them. But maybe that's just me.)

5. I'll never forget going out with a guy in high school who actually asked me where my mother did her grocery shopping. (I sometimes wonder: was this due to an abyssmal lack of things to talk about, or did the answer actually matter to him??)

6. I still laugh when I think about the guy in hs who, trying to be funny in spite of his extreme nervousness, asked me with a straight face, "Is that your head or did your neck throw up?"

7. This is no joke. I dated a guy for quite a while in college who loved nothing more than taking me down to the lake at night and singing "When You Are a Soldier" (an old Steven Curtis Chapman song). It may have been a little more palatable if he'd been able to sing.

8. My freshman year in high school I was in a "relationship" with a senior that lasted all of one month. It ended the second he told me his big plan for the future was to become a Taco Bell manager and have me work for him.

9. But the one that takes the cake was a blind date the summer between my jr. & sr. years of college. The guy probably would have been a lot more fun if he hadn't spent the entire evening telling me all the different illegal activities he'd taken part in. He was pretty disappointed when my list wasn't nearly as long. (I guess my one speeding ticket didn't sound all that impressive.)

I sat down to write this with 2 or 3 bad dates in mind, and as I write, more keep popping up. You're probably wondering how I ever managed to actually get married. But I was lucky enough to meet Danny, who has as many, if not more, dating horror stories as I do! What can I say - we were meant for each other.

Top Ten Reasons We Love Graduation Parties

10. You get to feel better about your own awkward junior high pictures

9. Lots of scrapbooking ideas!

8. A wonderful excuse to pig out on . . . everything

7. Knowing the graduates have to be nice to you because you're bringing them money / gifts

6. Grade-school girls who love playing with younger children

5. No cooking for days at a time

4. Three words: men in gowns

3. CAKE

2. Inflatables, swing sets, and buckets of ice (things that keep our munchkins occupied for hours on end, and also help them sleep better at night.)

1. You just can't beat spending the afternoon and /or evening with good friends

You Can't Afford Me!

I heard on the radio the other day that if stay-at-home moms were paid a salary for everything we do, we'd net about $130 grand a year. About six months ago, a news show gave an even "better" number: close to $150 grand.

I take issue with this whole train of thought for two reasons.

1. How did the researchers arrive at these values? They reasoned that a stay-at-home mom does the work of a part-time nurse, counselor, teacher, cook, laundry service, etc. (The list was pretty long and I've forgotten most of it). And they assigned a number by combining portions of the salaries for each, plus some overtime childcare pay.

The problem with this line of reasoning? Although I appreciate getting credit for nursing skills, really the only medical duties I've performed are administering Tylenol and putting on bandaids. Oh, and running one of my children to the hospital when he actually needed expert treatment. No one in their right mind would pay me to perform these tasks! (Although "Bandaid Technician" does sound pretty professional.) As for counseling, at this point I'd say I'm much more in need of this than my kids.

I don't have a degree in any of these fields. My degree is in secondary English Ed., so my kids won't benefit from that one for a while (except, of course, for the priceless benefit of having me correct all thier grammar). According to this formula, I'm not worth a fraction of the above amounts. In this respect, I'd be way overpaid.

2. Can you really assign a value to the time, attention and training kids receive from their parents? Not in a million years! They're saying, in essence, that the hours spent drying tears after a nightmare; changing thousands of diapers; reading Bible stories; teaching your kids how to cook, use the toilet, tie their shoes, problem-solve, etc.; instilling in your children godly values and helping to shape their very character; all this is worth ONLY $150, 000 a year??

The bottom line: Time spent with your children is priceless. If you are a parent, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If you are not a parent, it might not be a bad idea to thank your parents for everything they've invested in you. (This is much easier than forking over all the backpay you owe them for 18+ years.)

A Fun Evening

Danny & I spent Friday evening with five children ages 8 months - 3 yrs. Do we know how to have fun, or what??

The reason for the madness was so our good friends Alan & Erin could have a date night. They're going to return the favor next month. This is a wonderful way to get some time away and not drain the monthly entertainment budget in one night.

The odd thing was, we actually had a lot of fun. Not that we were expecting it to be awful, but we didn't think we'd have such an entertaining evening.

Wierdly enough, somewhere between the chaos of all five of them yelling at the top of their lungs during dinner, and the lump of poop we found stuck to the toilet after our trip to the park, I made some surprising discoveries.

1. Looking after five really doesn't seem like that much more work than looking after three. (of course, it was only one evening, and this in no way means we want to have any more!)

2. This toddler/preschoool thing certainly has its challenges, but it is the most adorable age! Before we had children, I used to wish they could come out of the womb and be at least in fifth grade. I have always enjoyed teenagers, but young kids scared me to death. Now, sometimes I think I would do anything to keep them from growing up. I found myself crying this weekend just thinking about my three kids graduating from high school someday.

There are difficult days when I am tempted to begin a countdown to college, but mostly I cling to every moment with them as a priceless gift from God. And I was wrong . . . You can actually have an interesting conversation with a three-yr-old!

An Unexpected Gift

Do you ever somewhat jokingly ask God for something, knowing that it's pretty much "impossible" and will never happen? I myself practice this daily. My request? "Dear God - what I wouldn't give for just a couple more hours in the day!"

Today He actually granted my request.

As per my morning routine, I hit the snooze button several times when my alarm went off at 5:45. But I was meeting a friend for coffee at 7:30, so around 6:15 I finally rose, showered and got dressed. Something seemed a little wierd, but at that time in the morning, everything seems a little off to me!

I realized Danny wasn't in bed and went to the living room to check on him. Lately he's had a bad cough which has forced him to sleep sitting up on the couch some nights. As soon as I entered the living room, I saw it: the digital clock on our DVD player blinked at me - 4:33 am. I did a double-take. Yep, still 4:33.

Then it hit me. Rach & Zekers had been playing in our room the day before and must have hit the hour button - twice - on the clock beside the bed. So the dang thing was 2 hours off.

By this time I was fully awake, so going back to bed would have been useless. I decided to take advantage of my 2 extra hours. I took a long walk, spent time with God, got the kids' breakfast ready, and bought a week's worth of groceries - and had time to stop for coffee - all before 7:30. Wooohooooo!

And I discovered something. Everything is better before 7am! No traffic, no lines at Kroger or Walmart, the air feels cleaner and you can actually hear the birds singing. It's fun to watch the world wake up.

God is so good. He knows how weak the flesh can be, especially when it comes to getting out of bed. I am grateful for the extra hours (I even have time now to post!) I probably shouldn't get too excited, though - I may lose the hours tonight when I crash around 8:30.

On The Move

Welcome to the Wright Family Circus . . . where Zekers is usually the ringmaster.

1. I was giving Karis a bath the other day, and Rachel came in to help. After about 15 minutes, it occurred to me that I had not seen or heard from Zekers in quite a while. (With a 2-yr-old, silence can be terrifying.) I turned to Rach and asked, "Do you know where your brother is?" To which she replied, quite matter of factly,"Oh, yes - he's in the dryer." I ran downstairs, opened the dryer door, and sure enough, there sat Zekers, sobbing. I've got to hand it to him, though - for someone who had been sitting in the dryer crying for over 15 minutes, he made a remarkable recovery. His first question upon being let out was, "Can I have a cookie, Mommy?" Evidently, he felt he deserved one.



2. Zekers has decided to become a walking (sitting) advertisement for Nick Jr. I personally like the look, but Daddy's not so thrilled. Apparently, he doesn't think it's possible to be a Backyardigan and a "Supercool Exploradora" simultaneously.







3. He succeeded, once again, in sabotaging our latest photo attempt. Poor Kari Bou.






4. And my personal favorite . . . . Yesterday, Zekers decided to streak his hair with Play Doh. I have never seen him so proud of himself. His self-congratulatulations soon turned to tears, of course, when Mommy tried to wash it out.

The Meaning of Dead-ication

Today at Kroger the kids & I were talking about Sunday, when all the grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins will be coming to church with us and staying for lunch afterward. After a while, Rachel became curious as to why they are all coming if it isn't anyone's birthday (she was extremely disappointed upon learning that it wasn't hers). I explained that we're having Karis dedicated.

Immediate tears resulted. I thought maybe she had bitten her tongue (again), but when I asked why she was crying, she replied, "Mommy, I want Karis to be alive."

I quickly explained to her that dedication means something completely different than DEAD. I told her soothingly that it just means we're giving her back to Jesus.

More tears. "But I want Karis to stay with ME!"

At this point I ran out of words. How do you expain baby dedication to a 3-yr-old who takes everything literally? We finally came to the conclusion that dedication means telling everyone at church that God gave us Karis, trusting Him with her life, and promising to do everything we can to help her love Jesus.

I'm dreading the day she asks about circumcision.

"Captivating": The Bottom Line

This is the conclusion of a series of reviews on John & Stasi Eldredge's book "Captivating." To start at the introduction, click here.


What did I like about this book?

As I stated earlier, I appreciated Stasi's gentleness and transparency about struggles she has faced and continues to face. I also appreciated what the authors had to say about women finding value in who they are instead of what they do (although I felt the baby was thrown out with the bathwater a few times on this one). I agreed wholeheartedly with the Eldredges' assertion that we must stop insisting that others fill us and begin looking to Christ. It has helped to know that women universally have some of the same yearnings and insecurities (I'm not the only nut job!). There were nuggets of truth to be found on relationships, beauty, healing and other topics.


What did I find distracting about the book?

I think some may enjoy the dozens of movie references throughout the book; however, I found so many to be a bit distracting. I love movies and music, but I don't know that they constitute solid backing for life principles. For example, Cinderella in no way gives credibility to the story of the virgin birth.

Also, the Eldredges use several words - such as "seduce", "arousal", "beauty" - claiming they mean one thing but obviously going another route. It's difficult to explain unless you read it yourself.


Do I recommend this book?

Overall it lacked depth. It missed the boat on several issues. Although they sprinkle the name of Christ throughout all 12 chapters, it is all in the context of what He can do for ME. It is a "me-centered" book. Therefore, its message is fundamentally anti-Biblical. If you're looking for a theraputic book on how to feel better about yourself, this one fits the bill. However, if you're looking to be challenged and stretched by applicable truth from God's Word, no way! As much as I would love to give a good recommendation, I have to say that generally, Captivating failed to live up to its name.

(Please understand that I read through this book once and liked it! Not until I began re-reading sections in order to write a review did all the subtle inconsistencies and faulty theology begin to surface. My intention was not to bash the Eldredges as people. I believe their message is well-intentioned but misguided. If you disagree with anything I've written, please feel free to comment or email me and I'd be happy to discuss it with you.)

"Captivating" part 4: Healing

This is part of a series of reviews on John & Stasi Eldredge's book "Captivating." To start at the introduction, click here.

"Here is the core reason we wrote this book: to let you know that the healing for your feminine heart is available, and to help you find that healing" (p. 96).

Of all the topics covered in the pages of Captivating, I came away most impressed, and most disappointed, by John's & Stasi's coverage of this one. Let me explain.

The Eldredges share numerous helpful insights on woundedness and restoration - both theoretical and practical. They discuss the importance of grieving - letting the tears flow over past hurts and admitting that the pain matters. They highlight the necessity of forgiving those who have wounded us, saying, "Forgiveness is a choice. It is not a feeling . . . It is an act of the will" (p. 103) They state that we must turn to Christ for healing, instead of to "our self-redemptive strategies" (p. 103).

Stasi gives a stirring account of the restoration that occurred between her and her mother. After a lifetime of feeling that she was always letting her mother down, she says God revealed to her that "the way my mother made me feel was the same way I made her feel. A disappoinment. An embarrassment. A failure" (p. 173). Stasi relates that she was "compelled by God to see her as soon as possible." She shared her true heart with her mother, asking for her forgiveness. And all the barriers came down. Stasi was able to spend one wonderful year with her mother before multiple myeloma finally claimed her life. My own tears flowed as I read her story.

I Corinthians 15 lays out the central healing message: "Christ died for our sins, according to the Scriptures. He was buried, He was raised on the third day, according to the Scriptures . . . "

What a wonderful hope for healing! And what a disappointment that John & Stasi Eldredge dance all around the central theme of the gospel, but never really share some of its core tenets - sin and repentance. The bottom line: they preach a feel-good gospel, a gospel of healing and comfort and self-esteem; but they fail to mention that the ONLY road to true healing lies in acknowleging my sin before a holy and righteous God and turning from it to follow Him. The closest the authors come to laying out the gospel is as follows:

Jesus . . . came, he died, he rose again for us. He was given all authority in heaven and on earth for us (pp.195-6).

But without an understanding of our sin, Christ's death and resurrection are . . . pointless.

Check out Matthew 9:1-8. Instead of immediately healing the paralytic, Jesus says, "Your sins are forgiven." Then, to authenticate His message, He heals the man's physical condition. Take a look at John 4 - Jesus' encounter with the Samaritan woman. To her surprise, He offers her not well water (the temporary solution to a physical thirst), but living water (eternal life).

What John & Stasi share about healing isn't untrue. Christ does offer healing for the brokenhearted. But this statement doesn't go far enough. Emotional healing is a fringe benefit that comes from a life submitted to the Savior! Our purpose in life is not to find healing for ourselves but to glorify our Lord.

I'm not downplaying the importance of recovering from emotional scars. Each of us has suffered to varying degrees as a result of the finite nature of our parents, friends and others. But the primary healing Christ offers is healing of the spirit, found in acknowleging our guilt and submitting to His Lordship. He offers so much more than a temporary fix - He freely gives us eternal life, through His atoning sacrifice.

Coming Soon: The Bottom Line

Garage Sale Follies

OK, I was all set to write out a plethora of helpful hints on garage saling, but after the last couple of days, this post has taken a different twist! My "helpful hints" have turned into "things to avoid at all costs."

1. When a community garage sale is advertised in the paper for a certain couple of days, don't go a day early hoping to "beat the rush." You won't find a whole lot.

2. It is NOT an incredible deal to buy a Polly Pocket house for $1.50, if you have to spend $4.87 at Wal-Mart later that day because you realize your daughter does not have a Polly Pocket.

3. Do not attempt to buy an item that is not for sale. (for example: a wagon another shopper has left standing empty for a minute)

4. It's probably not a good idea, when you purchase one 50-cent item, to pay with a $50 bill (especially when you're one of the first customers).

5. Under no circumstance should you ever attempt to carry two carseats, a flotation device, a sleeping bag and a purse more than 8 blocks. This can cause severe cramping of the arms, lasting up to 12 hours (and making it very difficult to type).

6. Never park in such a way that you block a non-garage sale driveway because you need a parking spot and you think the person living there isn't home!

7. Sometimes an item will not have a price sticker, and the seller will just ask you to pay whatever you think the item is worth. If you suggest a price that makes her smile from ear to ear and jump up and down with delight while shouting, "That works for me!", chances are, you could have gotten away with paying a lot less.

8. Don't smile and wave at the angry redneck behind you who thinks you cut him off. Things can get a little scary from that point . . . (at least the whole community knows his horn works very well!)

It was a rough couple of hours, but I guess coming home with 2 carseats, a wagon, toys, blocks, clothing, shoes, movies, a sleeping bag and a baby flotation device for less than $25 helped a little.

"Captivating" part 3: Romance and Seduction

This is part of a series of reviews on John & Stasi Eldredge's book "Captivating." To start at the introduction, click here.

ROMANCE

I'd like to simply bring to your attention one quote on this topic and then respond.

Let's go back for a moment to the movies that you love. Think of some of the most romantic scenes you can remember, scenes that made you sigh. Jack with Rose on the bow of the Titanic, his arms around her waist, their first kiss . . . Aragorn, standing with Arwen in the moonlight on the bridge in Rivendell, declaring his love for her. Edward returning for Elinor in Sense and Sensibility . . .

Now, put yourself in the scene as the Beauty, and Jesus as the Lover . . . you can see that there is healing for your heart in moving toward this. It's okay. It's quite biblical. Jesus calls himself the Bridegroom (Matt. 25:1-10, John 3:29).

Really? According to Ephesians 5 (among other passages), the bride of Christ is the church - not any one individual, and certainly not me personally! Does it bother anyone else to place yourself and Christ in a scene from a movie where the 2 characters end up getting it on in the back of a Model T in the cargo section of the ship!?

To substantiate their statements regarding romance in the world around us, the Eldredges quote Dan Fogelburg's Longer. This just struck me as kind of funny!


SEDUCTION

I’d also like to focus on two quotes from the chapter entitled, “Arousing Adam.”

The question before us is, ‘How does a woman best love a man?’ The answer is simple: seduce him.

Men, is this true?? (I know you’re thinking, “Sounds good to me!” But seriously . . . )

John Eldredge, who wrote most of this chapter, says at its conclusion: “The sexual connotation of seduce may have some of you struggling still with all those situations in which sexual intimacy is not appropriate. We mean it as a principle, a picture of how femininity can arouse masculinity in many, many ways.”

As defined on www.dictionary.com, “Seduce” means: 1. To lead away from duty, accepted principles, or proper conduct. 2.To induce to engage in sex. 3. To entice or beguile into a desired state or position. 4. To win over; attract.

I wish Edredge would clarify his intended meaning of this word when he first uses it, seeing that the primary meanings in the dictionary have very negative connotations; I felt his usage of this word distracts from the point he tries to make. (If you went to see a movie titled "Seduction" would you expect to see good things???) Immediately following his initial comment, he describes a scene of sexual seduction between a husband and wife, then stating that this carries over far beyond sex and marriage.

He makes the point that allowing oneself to become vulnerable as a woman will often arouse a man to play the hero (I believe he uses the words, “rise to the occasion” p. 154.) He urges women to be inviting, instead of emasculating or desolate. Good point – I agree. What I take issue with is the example he uses, from the movie A Walk in the Clouds. He cites the main character’s wife as a bad example. She is not an arousing woman; therefore, he has an affair with a young Hispanic woman who is inviting, almost seeming to justify the man’s action. If his wife had been more alluring, he wouldn’t have looked elsewhere for affirmation.

Eldredge states (p. 151) that pornography addiction, for men, is “not about sex – it’s about validation.” Honestly, I have no idea whether or not this is true, not being a man myself. It’s an interesting point.

John & Stasi have some great things to say on the topic of looking to ANY human being – husband, wife, etc. – to fill us or validate us. They make it very clear that our primary validation must come from God alone (p. 153). I would have liked to see them explain along with this that God is a lot more than just a means of our validation, but still – good insights.

Almost finished - I promise!! Next is the topic of "Healing" (which is the main purpose of the book), and then some concluding thoughts.

"Captivating" part 2: Essential Beauty

This is part of a series of reviews on John & Stasi Eldredge's book "Captivating." To start at the introduction, click here.

I absolutely loved reading what the Eldredges had to say about how beautiful I am - how powerful and mysterious and noble. I was feeling pretty darn good about myself, until the Spirit reminded me to measure the validity of these thoughts against God's Word. (Now why does He have to go and rain on my self-glorifying parade?)

With this in mind, here are just a few thoughts to consider:

1. John & Stasi Eldredge assert that Eve was (and all women are) the crown of creation. Why? Because created things continued on a progression throughout the week of creation. Each thing was more noble, intricate and mysterious than those created previously. And Eve was created last (pp. 24-25).

Scripture's Response: Psalm 8 seems to indicate that man (meaning "humankind") is the crown of creation. Man is crowned with glory and honor, made a little lower than the angels, and given leadership over other created things. Nowhere in Scripture is woman said to be the most glorious, or the "crown of creation."

Also, how could Eve be greater than Adam in any way when she was formed from his rib? Everything else was created ex nihilo - "out of nothing." And of these, Adam was the greatest. Eve was not created out of nothing, but out of Adam. She was part of him - not some separate and greater creation! Scripture seems to indicate that both together were (and are) the crown of creation.

2. Satan hates women more than men, because of their beauty (p. 84). The Eldgedges hypothesize that since Satan's great beauty made him proud, resulting in his downfall (Ezek. 28:17), he now hates Eve with a special jealous hatred, and his central passion is to destroy beauty - namely, women.

Scripture's Response: Two things come to mind. First, Rev. 12:9 says that "He (Satan) leads the whole world astray." I could not find one reference to a special hatred for women (If you know of one, please let me know!). Second, I'm wondering, since Satan's fall, has he become ugly?? Scripture says nothing about him losing his beauty, so I assume he's still beautiful. In fact, he masquerades as an "angel of light" (2 Cor. 11:14). It just doesn't logically make sense that he would be jealous of beauty.

3. "Beauty is without doubt the most essential of all God's qualities" (p. 40) They refer to Isaiah 6:3, which states that the created world is filled with the glory of God.

Scripture's Response: Hey, great verse, but it in no way substantiates their claim. Certainly, beauty is part of God's nature; He created beauty and desires that we enjoy His magnificent creation. But the most essential of all His qualities? I have yet to find a passage in Scripture that says beauty is more essential, than, say, His holiness or omnipotence.

4. "You are hated because of your beauty and power" (85). "He (God's Son) came to restore the glorious creature that you are. And then set you free . . . to be yourself" (95).

Scripture's Response: It sounds as though I am beautiful and powerful on my own. No mention is made of Christ's atoning sacrifice and the fact that He rescued me (see previous post!) out of my filth and ugliness to become beautiful. I am a sinful person, with no beauty or power except that which He has freely given me (Rom. 3:23, Isaiah 61:1-3). Praise be to God!

Stasi does share a few nuggests of truth, such as "Beauty flows from a heart at rest" (133). She also states that God wants intimacy with the real you, not with the person you think you are supposed to be. It is unfortunate that statements such as these are overshadowed by a multitude of statements with no Scriptural backing.

A parting thought:

"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world, and the despised things, and the things that are not - to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him. It is because of HIM that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God - that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written, "Let him who boasts, boast in the LORD" (I Cor. 1:27-31)

Coming Soon: Romance & Arousal